She's an Indie Rocker, and Nothing's Gonna Stop Her

It's not easy, you know. Being punk rock. Especially when you are in actuality a big dork. Oh, sure, in college, it appeared effortless: the rock and roll came to me, lived in my house with me in the form of hip DJs, visited in the guise of Rolling Stone columnists (true!) and indie rock label founders (yes!) and countless band members (not as cool!). I never had to work for it, you see. I got lazy. And now, I fear, I am washed up like so many syringes on a public beach. I am constantly in search of the punk rock, these days.

And for a while, my own syringe stash filled the need: I could inject myself! How cool was that? (A: Very cool.) But the awesome wore off, and now that part of my life is over; once again I cast about for the cool, adrift in a sea of dorkdom, clutching my obscure-label 7-inches and praying for rescue.

But what could be more punk rock than needles? Boy, have I got an answer for you. Hold on to your ass, 'cause here it comes:

Breastfeeding.

Naw, dude, not just plain old breastfeeding, which is certainly rock-and-roll, but not enough to pull me from the mire. No, I'm talking adoptive breastfeeding. With drugs! And pumping! And...wait, hang on.

So, the drugs. Domperidone. That's an issue, no? We like not to do drugs that don't get us high, right? Well, that ideal has long been resting on the bottom of the ocean, and I've come to terms with The Drugs I Need To Live -- what's one more? Except when the FDA issues scary warnings about it.

Not that I believe the FDA. Not that I don't chalk this up to conspiracy with formula companies, and...wait a second, did domperidone just get PUNK ROCK? I think it did. Yeah. It did. The Man doesn't want me taking domperidone, and that right there is incentive enough. So I'm cool with that. A few months of birth control pills, a year of domperidone, and wheeee! Got milk!

Well, as long as you pump. I can't come up with a way to make pumping cool; I've seen it done, and until they make a black latex horn-and-tube setup that hooks onto dominatrix gear, it falls under the category of necessary hassle. It has to be done often -- heck, it has to be done at work. And, well, wait. Hang on.

See, the building in which I work was constructed during an era of Really Bad Architecture that favored bricks and blockiness and unpleasant carpeting. And windows. Lots and lots of windows. Free to Be You and Me windows. Sharing is Caring windows. Every goddamn office has a floor-to-ceiling window to the outside, floor-to-ceiling windows to the public areas and hallways, and glass walls separating them. It promotes the free exchange of ideas, cooperation, and the taping of posters and calendars to certain key areas of that glass. And sexual harrassment. No, one can hardly blame the windows for that. The important thing here is ALL THE GLASS. Hence ALL THE VISIBILITY.

If I do this, and I haven't entirely made up my mind to do this, I will have to find someplace to pump two or three times a day. The only room without windows is the bathroom, and...just...NO.

We do have, however, a lot of big cardboard boxes at work. I could maybe hook two or three together, draw on some windows (with curtains!) in purple marker, hang a sign: "Jo's Titty Hut! No Boys Allowed!" I can't foresee that causing any sort of commotion, particularly since my office backs up to the most public of public areas, and, yeah, with the glass. So that would be good.

But see? All this resistance, all the potential hassle and unknowns, it just makes me want to do it all the more. It hones the punk rock, doesn't it? I need to do this, don't I?

Yeah. I do.

Comments

[Julia]

"Jo's Titty Hut" AAAah!

[OliviaDrab]

Jo, you ARE a badass punk, lady. Pumping your tits for a year? Fuckin' A, that's punk rock right there.

I've got some dried kudzu rope all over the yard if you want to thatch a roof for your Titty Hut.

[Mollie]

Oftentimes I call my Isis Breastpump my "works."

It's a lot like injecting, only in reverse. You'll come to love it. I sure do.

[Lori]

cheapo papers shades from home depo was my solution to the huge windows.

[jilbur]

Jo's Titty Hut. Oh. My. heeeeeeeee
*sigh* I loves me some YOU.

[Jo]

Well, I think the pumping only happens for a few months, then ideally you get the baby to do all the work...unless it takes a long time to get a baby...in which case you get to invite all your friends over for breastmilk sorbet.

You'd all come, right?

[Debe]

Breast milk sorbet sounds deliciously punk rock and, hey, I used to have a mohawk, so I know!

[Nat1026]

Sorbet hmmmmmm??? Well, as long as it's NOT low-carb!! I refuse to eat anything low carb, hence the width of my ass. When we come over for sorbet, can we play w/your pump? And will we get to listen to your punk collection?

[Mamarama]

I love you and your titty hut. You reign supreme... Way to embrace it and make it punk rock.

[Sanorah]

Your just trying to start a new punk fad aren't you!?

*grin* Hope it works out..

[runnerwoman]

I almost e-mailed you about your thoughts on adoptive breastfeeding, but then decided you'd think I was too weird. Even though my husband still hasn't, technically, agreed to adopt, I've done a good chunk of research on adoptive breastfeeding. MDC is a great resource, although it was depressing reading.

Anyway, it is very punk rock, especially if you get one of those keen hospital grade pumps. In this situation I'm feeling fortunate that my office has no windows and a sturdy door, although my co-workers might wonder why there's a low frequency hum coming from my office.

[Jo]

Runnerwoman, have you been to Four Friends? They're a really excellent resource all around. And then...somewhere else I can't find right now...there are the Newman-Goldfarb Protocols, which are what I'm going to show my doctor. They've got drug and dosage information, and some doctors' responses to the recent FDA domperidone ban.

Not too weird! Never too weird!

[Tammy]

Too cool. I had heard that it was possible to stimulate lactation like that. Actually, the article that I read was about a lesbian couple and both moms wanted to be able to nurse.

And, you can push it it even further...I also read another story about a woman who used her breast milk to make sourdough starter and every Saturday, she makes sourdough pancakes for her family. Talk about a legacy, eh?

[Veronica]

If Mr. Polyp is interested, men can also stimulate lactation -- see http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/milkmen.htm

[Marla]

There is an adoption breatfeeding group over at Yahoo. My friend liked the group pver there. She brought her babe home a couple of weeks ago & is doing it right now-- (but not in a building made of windows.)

[Anne]

>No, I'm talking adoptive breastfeeding. With drugs! And pumping!

Wow! You can do that? I never knew, cool, a little freaky, and VERY PUNK ROCK (in my book at any rate but I’m a big ol’ lame ass these days so I’m not sure if my opinion counts for much).

[chris]

Oh, this is so exciting and so good for you and the baby. I wondered if some of the moms who are adopting would try this. I've heard Reglan is as good as the domperidome, but I can't vouch for it personally because my doctor was a dumbass and had never heard of dom. If you do it, try and find a good lactation consultant (there are so many who are not good, unfortunately) who supports inducing lactation. You might also want to try La Leche--the chapters are all different, some being a little "conservative" and others being full of nice hippie ladies who I personally found more supportive when I had breastfeeding problems. Finally, get the hospital grade pump. It's completely worth it, although it looks like a car battery.

[beth]

May I just say that I'm so glad that pumping has now been deemed "punk rock". I've been trying to get my foot back in that door, and I didn't even know, that all this time, I was already there. Maybe I should start taking my pump to shows with me. Then again, maybe not.

And by the way, you should join this forum that is great: www.mamatropolis.com/community. All kinds of puck rock moms (and some dads) hang out there.

[Debbie]

I don't have any experience with the drugs which induce lactation, but I do know about clandestine pumping. Closing the door to my office would arouse curiosity and I was afraid the dull hum might be audible outside and through the shared wall with my boss' office. I mentally couldn't handle that.

My solution was to get a car lighter adapter for my Medela. I'd disappear for approx. 15 mins. when necessary to pump in my car in the underground parking garage. It was dim in there and I'd use a black apron-type drape thing that covered everything and to the casual observer looked like clothing. I even had an unexpected conversation with my boss through my passenger window while I was attached to the machine (had quickly turned it off). I'd unknowingly parked next to his car. I don't think he had a clue.

If you don't have a car at work, I'd talk to a facilities person at your building. There has got to be a place they can set up for you. You can't be the only one in the building that has ever had to deal with this. (many companies have a "lactation station.") Most people are really happy to help. I just happen to be crazily private and in retrospect it would have been so much easier if I'd told my boss.

Pumping can be a bitch though (especially in the beginning) and I swore I'd never do it. I took it week by week and astounded myself with how long I was able to persevere even with some McGuyver moments (saran wrap, rubber bands, etc. for forgotten pump parts ). In the end I could easily pump while driving my manual transmission car on L.A. freeways.

My opinion is that if you can handle infertility (I've been there, done that, doing it again), you can handle pumping if that is the route you decide to go. Good luck and I'm glad you are considering it.

[Cory]

Hmm, why does domperidone look/sound suspiciously like Dom Perignon? Are you making that shit up? hehehe

[Moxie]

I thought there was some evidence now that there was no significant benefit to domperidone and pumping vs. pumping alone. Too bad you can't administer the domp. to one boob only and pump both. You'd have a controlled experiment set up with your own body.

Geez, I'm such a true dork.

[mamamarta]

as i type, i'm nursing my 16mo adopted son micah. i'm so glad you're thinking about this. email me if you want to chat. i did the newman-goldfarb protocol, pumped for 8 months (long story, we thought we'd get a placement much sooner than we did, lotta birthmoms don't want to place with a lesbian couple), never got a full supply but supplemented for 6 months with my own stash of bmilk in the freezer. how punk rock is that?

nursing this babe has definitely been one of the greatest things i've ever done, and is a great way to get reaquainted with liking your body (that and running a marathon, which i'm also training to do).

way cool. keep us posted. one of my favorite topics.

[Karen]

Jealousy. Can you breast feed an older infant if they haven't been breastfed????

You are too cool for my school, Jo. I wanna go to Titty Hut. Pick me!

[Laura]

Lenore Goldfarb is actually a dear friend. Her website is loaded with info:
www.asklenore.com

I say GO FOR IT!

We are TTC with a GS and I plan to TRY induce lactation as well!

[Andreah]

You make me feel like a freak now for pumping at work in the bathroom.
Oh and I use the Avent Isis hand pump and it is the bomb diggy and very 80's heavy metal hair band.