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Moxie

Interesting questions. Tissue, for me, and then straight to the bathroom. Haven't had a UTI in years and don't ever want one again, so the extra motivation to go straight to the bathroom is useful.

I am much more strict about alcohol with this pregnancy than I was with the first one. Probably because I read that blurb in Brain, Child, about the so-called "crack babies" (who are all now in their late teens and early 20s). When they are compared with other kids from their same socio-econimic stauts, neighborhoods, etc. they are only a teeny tiny bit behind, it turns out. So prenatal crack exposure turns out to be nowhere near as bad as we all assumed. OTOH, they're learning way more about fetal alcohol exposure being seriously detrimental to brain development, and that the biggest danger zone is the second half of the first trimester. So I've extrapolated from this that if I need to cut loose with something mind-altering, I should do a line of coke instead of drink a glass of wine. (Can you tell I totally crack myself up? Someone's gotta laugh at my jokes.) Also, my MIL harps on endlessly about how she drank through all her pregnancies and her kids turned out fine. a) They didn't, and b) I like to needle her, so I refuse to drink in front of her while pregnant.

I do drink 3-4 caffeinated sodas per week. Don't feel one qualm about the caffeine (if I drank coffee while not pregnant I'd surely drink it while pregnant), but the phosphorus leaching calcium from my bones makes me feel vaguely guilty (although no more so than when I'm not pregnant-- my concern is for my bones, not the baby's).

Don't care if anyone else smokes pot, and if I had had severe nausea preventing me from eating I wouldn't have hesitated to go that route over Zofran or Reglan, but it just makes me paranoid and short of breath. I'm short enough of breath from the huge fetus, so no thanks.

Tylenol, yes. I'd take an aspirin or two if I didn't have access to anything else because the restriction against it is a worry about it being in your system if you go into labor, not a real worry for the fetus. Can't find any info about specifically why ibuprofin is bad in the third tri, so I wouldn't chance it.

I'd take antidepressants if it was that or be mentally unhealthy. I do suffer from some pregnancy depression, but having been through this before I know it goes away when I deliver, and nursing works like a charm to regulate my mood. So I kind of treat my pregnancy depression like all the other nasty things about pregnancy that you just have to wait out. But having been pretty seriously debilitated by it in the first trimester of my first pregnancy, I'm all in favor of ADs during pregnancy over depressed mothers.

Now I need some cinnamon rolls.

TexasMama

Did you dee the Mothering article several months ao on the use of marijuana to controll hyperemisis? Pretty darn interesting, and a much better option the the usually resulting poor nutrition, hypertension, and pre-mature birth.

I drank a little beer and wine, ate some cheese, and did a lot of the other "no-no's" while pregnant. I continue to drink some while nursing. The only thing I did not do was eat many of the fish containing mercury in the highest levels. I eat a lot of fish so I thought I'd better be extra careful on that one. Sure people in Japan and other places eat all that fish without a problem but it seems likely their bodies are for whatever reason more able to process it. We know the same ammount of mercury affects different people in dramatically different ways, so it didn't seem woth the risk to me.

TexasMama

Forgot to say, I usually run for the bathroom, but I need a better solution. Hope your readers have one.

And I drank a coffe a day thoughout my pregnancy. Gave it up while breastfeeding the baby who never sleeps, but it didn't help so I drink it again now.

beaver girl

Like Moxie, I have to get up and pee right away to avoid UTI's so I wipe up there and bring some TP back to bed for him to wipe up too.

Funny - I just blogged about the pregnancy "don't" thing last night. I'm having an occasional glass of wine, pop and smear of soft cheese. Sometimes, all at once while sitting in a hot (but not too hot) bath.

Jo

Oh, to clarify: I did not mean to suggest even remotely that antidepressants belong in the same category as Coke. Or coke. Heh.

And I would totally take those (ADs, not the, um, coke) if I needed them, during pregnancy, breastfeeding, whatever.

I did take metformin during pregnancy, and will start again the SECOND I give birth.

Okay! Back to the drip-and-dash.

Jo

And AND!

I did see that Mothering article, thought it was great. What really surprised me was the response it got on the website -- there were a whole lot of people who were absolutely appalled that anyone would use marijuana for anything ever, let alone during pregnancy. I've seen similar responses to threads about a single glass of champagne. That was part of what made me start thinking about it -- the huge diversity of opinion on the subject.

Okay, then.

JuliaG

Yep. Just like you. Only ours are kept in the bottom drawer of our bedside dresser or under the bed. And our name isn't so nice. Husband calls them "cum rags".

We just got a maid though, and I had a little panic attack when I was sitting at work and realized that she might be finding one of our rags under the bed. Ack! But then again, maids could probably tell you all sorts of strange things.

Mollie

Sex? Huh? What's that?

Sushi, for me. I ate it, so there. I did lots of research and found out that the biggest risk was tapeworm, and I couldn't get myself particularly worked up about that.

I didn't crave alcohol, but I sure the fuck do now! And I drink it whenever I want to. Even though I'm nursing.

Caffeine was never my thing so not an issue. Likewise with the maryjane. Crack, though, I did before, during, and after. Did I say crack? I meant chocolate.

Molly

We always grab a towel beforehand. Everything gets washed in very hot water afterwards. Final cleanup done in the bathroom. I always wondered how other people did that.

Kinneret

Ummmm towels? Is that so much to ask? The husbandly one usually grabs a towel for me before I jet to the bathroom. The towel then serves double duty covering the wet spot. Since you said you wanted to know and all.

And now I have a craving for coke. I mean Coca-Cola. Damnit.Thank you so much.
Oh, and I have an awesome recipe for cinnamon buns if you would like it. With raisins, of course. A cinnamon bun without raisins is a waste, really. With raisins, you also lose your waist. Hahaha, I'm hilarious.

Seriously, if you'd like the recipe feel free to email.

jen

"In a desperate clawing effort to prevent myself from making a pan of homemade yeast cinnamon rolls" - that just ain't fair, as my nearest Cinnabon store is oooh, about 6000 miles away. Jeeez, NOW you started a craving!

I am on decaf tea (apart from occasional jasmine tea pot), never drank coffee to start with, have had 1 G&T plus 4 glasses of wine in 17.5 weeks (though bubba was conceived after a day tasting in a sherry bodega plus a bottle of rioja), i intend to drink (moderately) at my wedding, i eat chocolate, i don't drink coke anyway, i had some brie but it was melted, i have given up sushi (biggest sacrifice) although my mum ate it all the time when she was carrying me, and i don't smoke anyway. So am being reasonably good but I miss the red wine when I am in the mood, and I did have about 200g of chicken liver pate when my first test was negative. I've started 2 bad habits since becomine pg; chocolate and pork scratchings. I took 2 days dose of Prozac but had a bad reaction to it so stopped again. I've taken paracetamol but nothing else (would kill for Advil) since my positive test (took 2 ibuprofen before). I cleaned the cat's litter but tested neg. for toxoplasmosis. So am being careful. but not anal.

jen

ps Kinneret, i will take that recipe for cinnamon buns off you if you could - thanks :D

DebbieS

ROFL...we have one of those cute little square baskets, too! Although after having only ONE sex-related UTI, I learned my lesson, and now quickly hobble to the bathroom in what we affectionately call "making a snail trail". And I try *very* hard not to sneeze first ;)

As far as "substances" are concerned, I almost never drink alcohol, due to preference, but I do have one midly-caffeinated beverage a day. I've read that 1-2 cups of coffee a day are safe, and tea and Coke have 1/4 of the caffeine of a cup of coffee per serving, so I stick to that. It saved me the caffeine withdrawal headaches, too. Other than that, I don't blink at the occasional extra-strength Tylenol, because I get killer headaches and don't believe pain is character-building! And of course Tylenol is the breath mint of all painkillers, but it's better than nothing. I also was prescribed Compazine for my nausea (which I suprisingly got at exactly the 12-week point), but I keep that down to one every day or so. It's either that, or retch after my meals, yecch. Oh yeah, and I eat sushi once a month, after my ob appt. Hey, she's Japanese, and she said it's fine, and it's the only protein I can choke down some days. I am SO weird =)

Sabrina

Condoms. No mess for me or him, it's all contained.

I'm nursing now and if I want a drink I have a drink. When my son was really little I actually drank a whole bottle of red wine one night so we could BOTH sleep. He was a very colicky baby for a few months.

When I was pregnant I had a few glasses of wine in my second and third trimesters and all with big meals so I wasn't worried about it much. I drank coffee pregnant but stopped when he was born and I realized that it was keeping him up. I have one cup a day now since he's not nursing solely anymore and it doesn't affect him.

Used antidepressants while pregnant and for a while when nursing but the side effects were too much for me and I had to stop.

In the end, I think that what a person does is probably right for them as long as they have any necessary information about whatever they are doing. Personal opinion though, hard drugs probably aren't a very good idea.

cass

i always wondered what other people did about the wet spot problem - i find it icky and to be avoided as much as possible. when we're doing the stay-lying-down-for-20-minutes thing (even though i'm not sure it matters and we're on our way to IUI) we start with a towel underneath, and then use it to clean up. before that he'd grab a towel from his side of the bed for his cleanup, and i'd either use that or hobble to the bathroom. i think i need a cute basket, though. (this reminds me of ways we used to keep condoms handy but hidden in college!)

at the request of my acupuncturist (and oh-so-many books) i've given up caffeine (along with a bunch of other dietary restrictions). i'm allowed an occasional cup of green tea, but that's about it. when my ILs were in town and we were eating out at nice seafood restaurants a lot, I had raw oysters three times in a week on the theory that I wouldn't eat them once pregnant. but since I'm not, I think maybe I'll have some more this week!

dish

We seem to have an abundance of towels in the house, and as we're not doing a daily tumble in the sheets (TMI? I thought not.), we usually grab the nearest bath towel for cleanup knowing that it would have been going into the wash anyway. Love the basket-0-sex rags idea, though.

I am basically staying away from alcohol except for the occasional sip, eating most cheeses (although I have to admit I've given up my favorite blue- gawd will that taste good afterward), am not eating sushi, and have about 5 cups of decaf coffee a day (usually adding a splash of regular to one of them). I think it has a lot to do with what you were saying, Jo, about needing *something* to control.

And I posted at length on beaver girl's site about the whole alcohol and pregnancy issue- how the science is not entirely rock solid (and you know I'm a big nerd, so I've actually read the damn papers...). I'll not re-post it here.

Sherry

Like Dish, we're a grab-a-towel-on-the-way-to-the-scene-of-the-crime kind of couple, unless, of course, we find ourselves on the dining room table, then it's Pledge and a quick trip to the potty. Leave it to you, Jo, to come up with the brilliant idea of a sex rag basket. Oh, the money we could make in the marketing...

As for what I'm giving up, honestly, it's not much. I didn't have many vices before the pregnancy. I didn't smoke, wine and beer gave me headaches and I was only recently introduced to the joy of the soft cheese. I take the Tylenol instead of Advil for aches and pains, I drink caffeine free Diet Pepsi and Crystal Light Iced Tea, mostly because I don't hold my caffeine well and get the hippy-hippy shakes at the idea of high test. I have even eaten goat cheese on several occasions.

As for others, I say, pretty much anything is fine in moderation. You can't stop your life because your pregnant, and you shouldn't have to. A glass of wine, a bite of Sushi, some cough medicine, a toke, whatever. Enjoy it, but don't go overboard.

One last thought, my Mother heavily smoked Kool Menthol Lights throughout both her pregnancies (my sister and I) and we turned out with ten fingers, ten toes, and brains more useful than just a hatrack. I'm not condoning taking up chain smoking, I'm just sayin...

Nat

I do a quick kegel and head for the bathroom to pee and clean up...no UTI's that way. Hubby will wash up in the bathroom, or if he's feeling free, he'll just put his boxers back on. It used to gross me out, but not so much anymore.

Since I can't get pregnant w/o ART, and I can't afford treatment right now, I'm doing whatever the hell I want. Caffine is my best friend!! I don't do drugs, don't have a cat, hate fish and soft cheeses, and rarely drink anyway, so I don't have much to worry about.

Anon this time

Geez, I've never posted anonymously before. Perhaps I'm a bit paranoid...(LOL!)but this was such a great topic and you made me laugh...and feel safe...so here goes...

Okay, first question first, that would be the Kegel Hobble for me. We used to use a towel, which did double duty for the wet spot, and I had recurrent UTI's till a nice doctor helped me figure it out!

Then there's the other question. One of my first symptoms of pregnancy was that alchohol suddenly smelled disgusting. I quit smoking cigarettes with the first, never cared much for sushi or any of the white powdery/rocky substances and I made someone-with-testicles clean the catbox. I cut the coffee intake in half when someone suggested it might be causing my pregnant headaches, and they were right, it worked! I missed my second cup though so I switched that to green tea and that worked okay.

However, I to*ked, while feeling guilty, through both my pregnancies. Why? Well, let me just give you my whole litany of excuses!

There's the tried and true, "Wow, it's a great cure for morning sickness!"

...and the truly lame, "My husband wouldn't quit and I was too codependent to quit on my own."

But my favorite is the one that really lays the truth on thick and takes no prisoners: "I have chronic pain issues due to being hit by a car and tendonitis. Thus, I will give up my bong when they peel my cold dead fingers from around it!"

We have two sons. They are healthy, happy and remarkably well adjusted considering. They are both tremendously smart, funny and creative. I don't get them high and have recommended to my teenager that he not do this at 14 like Mommy did, but to wait till college if at all. He is still saying he "won't ever" and I encourage that, but I'm not holding him to it.

We don't really drink and we don't smoke cigarettes or gamble or do any other drugs, so tok*ing is probably our biggest vice.

Oh, and for your statistical analysis, we are in our 40s, white, suburban, middle-class and college educated.

Thanks for asking, didn't realize I had so much to say on that topic! I'll email you so you know who I am.

Evil Stepmother

Towel. We keep a few in the room for that very purpose. The uncircumcisedness (shut up - it's a word now, dammit) of the hubby dictates that he be pretty meticulous about the "drying off." I don't get UTIs and haven't since before I was sexually active, go figure. Um, knock wood.

I will say it here. The most "advanced" kids I've ever met have been the children of mothers who smoked pot one or twice a week during pregnancy, including my niece (I have never been pregnant). My sister's friends (mine, too, I suppose) were all part of the neo-hippie Let's Follow Phish community, and the kids were very articulate at an ealy age, learned ABCs, etc. I wonder if it's the socialization, since the kids are around a ton of people all the time, or if it is something in the drug. Probably too far-fetched to suggest that without research.

The husband has said he violently disagrees with any tokage during pregnancy. I may have to puke on him a few times if events warrant, but I don't plan on doing it as it stands right now. Brave of you to air your thoughts, though, and I'm glad others have spoken up to say the same. The cynic in me, however, is waiting on the asshole who threatens to call DFCS on your wine-swillin', NORML-ized ass.

oliviadrab

I squeeze and run for the bidet. YES, that's right. I said BIDET. B'cause I'm all classy and shit.

kristy

jo,
love these questions. they're surely ones i'd ask, had i a blog. i'm always curious about these things.

for #1, i squeeze and run for the can. but in general, i'm a pretty fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of gal. i'm just not prepared enough to organize a whole basket full of rags.

for #2, i am in the TTC camp, but have been pregnant for short and intermittent times before. i am much like you - for anyone else, everything in moderation. for me? while pregnant, i totally abstained from everything and anything. pasta? no way! all those dangerous carbs and stuff? but i miscarried anyways. so you know, next time i may just say fuck it all. during particuarly strenuous TTC cycles (these are any that involve needles of some kind) i abstain. but i can't really do this for more than a month at a time. i don't have THAT much control. after a non-wine, no-sugar, needleful cycle that fails, i'm pretty bitter and believe me, i make up for it.

Dee

Great questions!

As for me, I'm one of the gross ones I guess and I grab the underwear I was wearing before we got it on, put 'em back on and usually give myself a wedgie to catch the escapees that are heading for the back alley. Sometimes there's a towel involved instead of panties but that's not as common. Somehow or another I've been lucky and never gotten a UTI. Hubby usually just goes to the restroom and wipes off before putting his boxers back on. I love your basket though!

Before getting pg, I didn't really indulge in much. I gave up real chocolate (switched to the sugar-free kind) in early 2003 and gave up caffeine somewhere along our four years of TTC. When I found out I was pg in Oct., I gave up sushi and soft cheeses like queso blanco (which are big in the cuban, colombian, etc., restaurants around here). I do "indulge" in a demitasse of decaf espresso from time to time but that's about as exciting as I get. I haven't had to take any aspirin or anything during this pg but would if I needed to. I do tend to eat fish, usually once or twice a week, but I try not to dwell on the mercury issue. Usually they're innocuous fish like snapper and grouper, not typically species associated with elevated mercury issues. I do try to limit my tuna intake though--which is so damn hard 'cause I loves me some Bumblebee!

Cricket

This topic came (ha!) to mind over the weekend. I've been with P for over a year and I don't ever remember being so organized about biological clean up procedures. We use a towel, usually a clean one. Sometimes he gets it, sometimes me. It is rare that one of us hasn't gotten a beloved towel for leakage; we're rabbits, so we always need towels. P is so fussy about laundering of said towels (and about using 3X the legal limit of Downey) that a soft, scented towel is rarely still by the bed one night to the next. We rarely have wet spot issues b/c I'm usually on top. I do a partial dismount to disengage, pause to give him back his stuff, then complete the dismount. This way, the towel is usually more for him than me.

Regarding pregnancy, I had so much trouble with food and intolerances and nausea that I barely ate. I would count a serving of yogurt as protein, calcium, and fat to as to minimize what I had to eat. Guess I could have used a t*ke for some appetite stimulation in addition to nausea control.

Annie

Wet spot or towel or hobble. No official sex towel designate for us.

I drank coffee while pg and still do while BF, my RE said I could drink one cup a day so I ran with that. She didn't say what size the cup had to be, right. I had the biggest coca-cola cravings while pg and somtimes gave in, the best. Had my friend give me a giant bottle after I gave birth. Ahhhhhhhhh. Don't drink or smoke pot, didn't eat the cheese or the sushi or shark, tuna, etc. Did take tylenol and tums, felt guilty about the tums, but the wicked hearburn from hell. Ate chocolate too. Breastfeeding, I really haven't stayed away from anything except the mercury fish thing and so happy to have my blue cheese back.

Yum, cinnabon. Please eat for me. On weight watchers now.

Must go, toddler saying Mama come off. That's a first.

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