Today is our eighth anniversary. Eight years ago this morning, I was waking up in my mother's house and preparing to fight my entire family for a chance in the shower; we were trying to figure out how to fit our wedding guests for the outdoor affair into the small museum, because it was not only raining but chilly; and I had not one qualm about what we were about to do.
Since then my qualmlessness has been reinforced a thousandfold, because seriously, it just gets better and better and better. Cheers to you, my eternally menschy husband. May we have another sixty-some chances to completely neglect to do anything by way of celebrating our anniversary.
Also, today I am ten weeks pregnant. Nothing bad blah blah. It still feels completely imaginary. If you have a Doppler and would like to try it out on me, I will make you banana bread.
So the best anniversary present of all was Obama clinching the nomination. Huzzah, I say, and 'bout damn time, and YAAAAAAY! This editorial in the Philadelphia Crapquirer put a damper on my joy, though.
"How Obama's campaign has treated Hillary will not be forgotten," Janet Rogers, 55, who runs a bed-and-breakfast in Medina, Ohio, wrote me. "I will vote for McCain if Hillary is not the nominee. My husband and friends all feel the same way."
Listen, lady. I'm going to say this once. If you vote for McCain, and that crazy asshole wins, I just hope your daughter doesn't die of a backalley abortion. I hope your son doesn't get drafted for a war in Iran. I hope your husband doesn't have a stroke from particulate air pollution. I hope your B&B doesn't go broke in a depression. Good fucking luck with all of it.
Obama's campaign and Obama's supporters are not the same thing. The campaign, the official thing that Obama has control over, has been nothing but respectful, has played fair while Clinton sank to race-baiting and unpleasant innuendos. Some of Obama's supporters are vile sexist rectumheads who deserve chemical castration and a punch in the kidney, but Obama does not control these people. Any more than Clinton controls the cowardly, murderous racists who threatened Obama in West Virginia.
So, gals. Why don't you go ahead and prove some stereotype about women being unable to separate emotion from rational thought? Why don't you whine that your party has taken you for granted just because your candidate didn't get the votes to win? Why don't you sacrifice everything you purported to care about just because things didn't go exactly the way you wanted?
Don't defile feminism by trying to squeeze under that umbrella, because I will push you right out into the pouring rain.