We are skedaddling the fuck out of Philadelphia for, as Sophia puts it, "a week of days," and are forgoing internet access for the duration. I promise pictures when we get back: Sophia in full flower girl regalia, me in my fake clip-on hair and some truly kickass earrings from etsy, Sean in his Magical Suit that Gets Him Jobs. And probably a bunch of prodigal blogger Gretchen, who hasn't learned the basic etiquette of at least announcing that you'll be going on hiatus for six years or whatever while you're hiding out in the mountains. Hey, internets, she hasn't checked blogs for a while, so if you don't tell her, she'll never know I posted pics of her eating a meatball hoagie on the toilet, mmkay?
I hope to:
- get over my raging cold
- field pointed questions about whether various activities in which I engage are "safe?!" Those activities would include lifting a ten-pound box, taking an ibuprofen for aforementioned cold, and others TBD. However, a glass of wine with a cappuccino chaser wouldn't raise any eyebrows with this crowd, so I'll count my blessings.
- go out for a nice dinner with my husband, having farmed out Sophia to relatives of choice
- pee out the bloat that results, apparently, when one eats an entire bag of Archer Farms Smoky Bacon and Cheddar Baked Potato Crisps. At this point I'm thinking it was kinda sorta worth it, but I probably would have been better off consuming 1000 calories worth of actual bacon and cheddar.
- figure out why meat-flavored crackers have been in a downturn since 1983. Remember Chicken in a Biskit? They also had a bacon-flavored something. And a swiss cheese cracker in the shape of cartoon mouse cheese. Man, those were good.
- Hey, and also, remember that one cereal Rocky Road? From the mid-'80s? It was little graham cones, and chocolate and vanilla balls (like Cocoa Puffs), and some of the vanilla ones had little brown bits on them to simulate chocolate chips? But the best part, okay, the best part was the chocolate-covered marshmallows. Oh, that waxy chocolate coating those crunchy squeak-in-the-teeth marshmallows! After I had eaten two or three bowls in the traditional way, with milk, I was then able to compose tiny facsimile ice cream cones and eat them, popping a marshmallow in my mouth simultaneously for the full sensory experience.
- Damn, I guess you have to be Australian to eat the In a Biskit line now.
- You know, after a little internet research, it seems I am conflating two cereals: Rocky Road, with balls and marshmallows, and Ice Cream Cones, with balls and cones. But I swear there was, briefly, some hybrid...