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Bounce on over to Shakesville for an amazing post about adoption by a birth mother. And take the time to read the comments. Best. Comments. Evah. (And thanks to Aunt B. from whom I lifted the link.)
Posted at 10:36 AM in Outside Reading | Permalink
This post was amazing, very well-written. The woman who wrote it- well, her words speak for themselves. Very powerful.
I do think it addresses a very specific adoption scenario, though-- and not all adoption scenarios should necessarily be colored with the same ethical brush.
March 18, 2009 at 11:34 AM
"don't worry, you can have another one" - would people say this to a parent whose child had just died?"
People do all the time.
March 18, 2009 at 02:57 PM
Sadie, yes -- but the fact that I know multiple people in similar situations speaks to the fact that it does happen. It points to many problems in the system.
and anon, yeah, that was my first thought too.
March 18, 2009 at 03:06 PM
Eh, that writer didn't seem too bright. Why choose a Catholic agency to place her baby and then proceed to freak out that the post-adoption counseling offered was faith-based? Why not choose a nice, sliding-scale therapist of her own choosing. Oh, I forgot, she's a special snowflake with uneek issues. And the commenters made me roll my eyes. So desperate to believe that pro-lifers only care about in-utero babies, that they close their eyes to any food pantries, daycares, and health clinics run by religious organizations that provide services to all regardless of religious affiliation or ability to pay. Bah, let them wallow in their ignorance, I'm sure they're happier that way.
March 18, 2009 at 10:02 PM
Extremely good post. I immediately sent it to most of the people on my email list.
March 19, 2009 at 09:22 AM
Wow, great link. And Moi, as to your last line, I think there's a saying about pots and kettles...
March 19, 2009 at 12:53 PM
Thank you very much for highlighting this.
March 19, 2009 at 02:17 PM
Oh, Moi, really now. Shut your butt.
March 19, 2009 at 02:24 PM
I have to respectfully ask: The issue that is continually brought up about birthmothers being this unseen group never to be considered when talking about adoption? Where is this in evidence? Because I can't turn around on the Internet without it reading something about it.
Is there ignorance about the grief and pain birthmothers experience throughout their lives after relinquishment? I am positive there is. I just wonder if this ignorance is as widespread as it is being portrayed to be here and elsewhere. Never in a million years would I want to come across here as being disrespectful to that pain. Never. It is real and it is deep and can only be understood fully by those who endure it. I just feel like... I don't even know. I get a little worn out by the notion that "no one is listening." I feel like a lot of people are listening.
March 19, 2009 at 11:47 PM
Thank you, really, for directing me to the topic I'd been avoiding. Amazing stuff, and a whole new blogging community I hadn't discovered yet. As a brand-new adoptive parent, I've gotta face the music. I feel like I'll always be the noob....
March 21, 2009 at 12:20 AM
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