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June 18, 2009

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Something related from the Onion News Network:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/77223/onion-news-network-new-babysafe-ball-makes-shaking-your-infant-guilt-and-injury-free

i'm so with you on the babies vs. children. i could have a baby every year, just over and over and over. i'm pretty sure i can be a good mom most of the time to exactly the two children i have, and precisely no more.

Oh, the arm grabbing...I feel like such a slug when I do it, but it is what it is. Mindfully hitting a child seems so much worse to me. I am going to remember the hand clapping thing. That could come in handy, hahaha...

Ever since a colleague accidentally dislocated his son's elbow trying to keep the 3-yr old from falling on top of their baby, I am an upper arm grabber too. I don't need that kind of scrutiny of my parenting or pain for my kid. And I have accidentally stepped on my child. And scratched with long fingernails while helping get dressed (no time to trim nails, see also kidsx2).

And I am sad that I won't be having any more kids (sometimes) because I make beautiful babies. Really! But getting and staying pregnant (now with more suppository action!) and then the surgical un-pregnanting is just such a chore. But I think I will cry when I stop nursing the small nursling.

I admire your foresight in knowing the difference between babies and people and not allowing yourself to be emotionally sucked into procreation. I did, and it's been really really hard, in several respects.

I yelled--really yelled--at my daughter today for the first time in her life today. I still feel awful about it. I wonder if snapping and/or clapping would freak her out more than really loud yelling.

Man, I wish I had some chocolate in the house.

Weirdly, I think smacking is ok if both mum and kid know it's not ok. I've never smacked, but if I should ever do that, I know I will apologise.

I also find it helpful to tell my kids when I have a short fuse / am stressed. Doesn't change their behaviour, but helps me unload.

I'm with you on finding the Gosselin situation gross. Same with the Duggars, et al. Putting your family out for constant viewing and scrutiny has got to be unhealthy.

I like the clapping/snapping suggestion. I've smacked my dag at times when she's not behaving and I lost my temper. I'm afraid of doing that someday to my daughter, so I'll start practing the clapping now.

I saw a woman yesterday with The Kate Gosselin Hair. It was such a precise replica, down to the unsubtle foiled highlights, that I actually did a double take and wondered momentarily if there is now a Kate Gosselin Wig Collection on the market.

I will admit to having coveted, and even attempting my own version of celebrity hair (the Posh Bob of '07, and I still haven't gotten the Cyndi Lauper Girls Just Wanna Have Fun thing out of my system) but there was just something icky about wanting to look exactly like Kate. I can't quite imagine going to my hairdresser and saying "make me look just like a brittle, angry woman with eight kids and a philandering husband!"

I'd rather look like I'm married to an insanely hot soccer player and Just Wanna Have Fun, y'know?

I would have cut Gosselin some slack if she hadn't explained her action with some comment about "loving her children whether the paparazzi are there or not."

"Everyone loses it sometimes, and I'm not proud of that moment" would have been relatable to me. "Smacking is a loving form of discipline, even when it's clear that my reaction was driven by my own stress" -- not so much.

Then again, I have other reasons to find the Gosselins dismaying. I really wish that all shows about HOM families would GO AWAY. (And the Masches, who used to have my sympathy, aren't much better, since they are so blatantly PERFORMING as the anti-Gosselins.)

hand clapping sometimes works for me - but most recently my spank avoidance technique was to bang my daughter's hairbrush against the countertop so hard that it broke in half. She later reported to her grandma that "when I dawdled and delayed and didn't listen my mommy broke my brush." I guess she got the message! But I still felt like a heel.

My main question these days is how to survive the almost constant PMS that comes with perimenopause while raising children? This is the part of advanced maternal age no one talks about!

Jody, I should have been more specific: the slack is for me and other moms, not Ms. G. Heh.

Summer, HA. Awesome. Wig. Yes.

I snap and clap at my kids all the time. I do it for the same reason I snap at my dogs, to get them to look at me and listen to me. When 3 year olds are in full freak out mode, they can't hear you, and shouting over them doesn't work. Once I've clapped loudly a couple of times I usually have their attention well enough to at least say "Go sit on the naughty step NOW!" and be heard.

I have shouted at the twins more than I care to think about. Well, not really shouted AT exactly, just shouted in their vicinity. One day in particular comes to mind when they were both screaming and refusing to nap, I think they were 9 months old, and I was beyond my breaking point. I just sat in the middle of their room and screamed. Then I left the house, went into the backyard, and waited until I had it together enough to go inside.

I don't like the G's at all, but in their defense, twins can drive you insane. I can't imagine having 6 at once. *shudder*.

Whoa. If one spank for an action that displayed an incredible lack of respect despite verbal warning causes this reaction in the public, all I can say is I'm terribly glad I'm not followed around with cameras all the time.

Chickenpig, I had a day exactly like that when Sophia was about that age. We lived in a rowhouse, and I always wondered what the neighbors thought I was up to.

So I probably have nothing of any depth to add, being that I don't have children or anything.

But.. I just wanted to say, I'm not 100% but i'm PRETTY sure you're who I want to be when I grow up.

In a non-weird way. Cause thats how i do things.

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