At Least I Have My Hands Free Now

Well, we heard back from the landlords, who are proposing a grand total of $500 plus security deposit as an incentive. Because of the tax credit, you see.

And the owners of the house we're interested in sent a "final-for-now" counter that's about $5,000 below asking, and about $12,000 above where we want to end up.

I've looked at EVERY house in our price range in three sections of town, and not one is The One. Unless we are talking about The One that Smells Like Sewer Gas and Has Suspicious Paint Bubbling Beneath the Upstairs Toilet, or The One Where Someone Clearly Smoked a Pack of Cigarettes Immediately Before You Arrived at Nine A.M and Every Morning Before For the Last Twelve Years., or The One That Is Not a Duplex But Nonetheless Boasts Two Kitchens (And No, Is Not Kosher).

So all those balls I had in the air are going thunk thunk thunk around me. And frankly all I feel is relief. Well, there's some minor irritation but nothing a soothing ointment won't fix (hey, the tax credit was extended!). So without ado, my recipe for the finest soothing ointment of all:

Cheaper Dairy-Free Vegan Low-Carb Pumpkin Spice Latte

Brew up a cup of coffee, very strong. While it's going, take the following ingredients:

3-4 TB coconut milk (regular or light)

1-2 TB unsweetened vanilla almond milk

2-3 TB canned pumpkin

pumpkin pie spice to taste (clove, cinnamon, ginger)

stevia to taste (I use English Toffee flavor)

...and mix them all up in a giant mug. Heat it in the microwave for 30 seconds or so, and taste it -- should be kind of like pumpkin pie batter.

Pour your extra-dark coffee in there and stir. Sit back, drink it, and count your chickens.

Of course if you want to use cow milk or soy milk or sugar or agave nectar or a nice mild snake venom, it's none of my nevermind.

Comments

[gretchenosis]

wait on that victorian...it's new on the market, and after sitting awhile, they may change their tune. and wtf, landlords? if that's the type of deal you wanted, why didn't you just fucking say so in the first place?
at the same time, i understand how you would be relieved. no more fantasizing or iffing or anything, just reality.

[Mandy]

Wait...$500 plus they're giving back your security deposit? How generous (not).

[gretchen the babysitter]

I'd like to mention that if you do go the dairy milk route, vanilla extract is a really good idea. Also some freshly grated nutmeg. And I'm so glad there was a can of long past-date pumpkin in the pantry that Ya Ya moved from Philadelphia to good ol' North Potomac.

[Lauren]

I can totally tell you are asking for advice... Heh... if you can hold out until the Spring, there are usually a lot more houses on the market. In our area (suburban Maryland), there are twice as many options in the Spring as in the Fall.

And $500 is a pretty crap offer.

[Brooke]

Do you qualify for the tax credit? Not that it's any of my business, but I thought you owned before you moved.

We now qualify because of the expansion. Had they extended it for 2 more weeks, we would qualify as new homebuyers, but what can you do? Also, there is so little in our price range here that hasn't been gutted before they ran out of money that I don't even know if we will find anything.

Anyway, good luck. Moving sucks. Homebuying on a budget sucks. I assume it would suck less if we could just drop a million or so.

[Jo]

We never have owned -- so we do qualify for the tax credit, which is great, but kind of limits us in how long we can drag things out. It's good until, what, April? Which means we have to look during the dead time.

I am so tempted to buy a fixer-upper with a 203K and roll several months of mortgage into it, so we can stay here through August while fixing up a house. Hmph.

[Brooke]

You have to go under contract by April 30, but close by the end of June. (We would be 3 years out from owning (so first time buyers again) in the middle of July, so I paid a lot of attention to the timelines)

[Karen]

the landlords really don't have a leg to stand on. You have a 1 year lease? Hold them to it. You are the one with the power in this relationship. In TX, where landlords rule, it takes a big stick to evict a tenant. Don't know what it would take in TN, but I'm sure you can let your landlord know that $500 is not enough.

[Jo]

Well, the thing is, they have absolutely agreed to honor the lease if we wish to stay. They're not trying to kick us out early -- just trying to sweeten the deal. The really nice thing is that they're offering to let us out of the lease early with no consequences.

It's more that -- the way they set it up, it was as if there was going to be a greater compensation. In the end it's still a win-win since we'd get to take the tax break without dealing with re-renting or subletting.

But still...le sigh. On the upside, saw another possible great house today...