Skree! Blaaah! Raaah!

Those are Daphne's big words right now. She sounds like a pterodactyl having a chat with Godzilla. I forgot how nine months is kind of the zenith of cuteness for babies. It also happens to be the nadir of Personal Baby Safety, which means she spends most of her waking hours attempting to backdive off the bed, stick one hand in the dog's water and the other in a socket, and eat tiny poisonous chokeable things, preferably all at once. Because the nasty, it wasn't enough -- why stop at a wad of cat hair and dead leaves when you can also have something that is either a pill or a mint? While you are rolling down a flight of stairs?

As I recall, it's all downhill from here.

Anyway, so what's new with you guys? Nothing much here. Just, you know, trying to process the whole Terrible Illness of Parent thing while simultaneously absorbing the news that Your House, It Is To Be Sold and Torn Down and looking for a new house. And, look, I know that it's a sensible investment and blah blah equity but Holy The Prophet Elijah in a Rhinestone Golf Cart, that is a LOT of money. And if you don't pay it, well, then you end up on the news in the financial version of the Headless Fatty, with close-ups of your big old Foreclosure sign and a rain barrel with suspenders where your pants used to be. 

The good news is, I stand to win a sizable cash prize in the secret blogger contest of How Many Stressful Life Changes Can You Undergo in Six Months Without Anybody Actually Dying?. If my horrifying face surgery goes as scheduled, I'm just laps and laps ahead of the competition.

Comments

[Melissa]

Jo, I think you kind of tossed out that part about tearing your house down like a used Kleenex. Did I miss a post? Because this sounds serious- but I don't know what the hell you're talking about. But anyway- yikes!

I was always famous, and still am, for leaving the bucket full of gray mop water sitting around in the kitchen doorway for days after I mopped. Many a baby and child dropped items into the bucket or tried to pull up on it or stick their pudgy hands in. But I could never seem to break the habit.

[Jo]

Oh yeah, maybe I did neglect to mention it -- I think they're going to tear down and rebuild on-site. Which makes sense for the neighborhood, I guess -- and they won't do anything until everyone is comfortably resettled. So that's good.

While I was reading your comment, the baby upended my cup of lukewarm coffee.

[gretchenosis]

jo. since spending last weekend with you, all i kept thinking was, gosh, nine-month-olds are awesome! sure, mr. chunks is delightful in so many ways, but kicking my teeth in every time i try to put his shoes on...not so much. yesterday he gave me a bloody nose, and i found myself consciously NOT picking up an old, questionable crumb off the floor thinking, eat it, little asshole. hope it makes you sick. now, now, don't anyone get in a tizzy. 'twas a passing thought that immediately had me feeling so guilty i almost cried. fuckin motherhood, man.

[gretchenosis]

and, i should add, it gave me a nightmare that i'd gone out to a denny's and partied all night, leaving philip alone in the house. i passed out in a booth, woke up the next day at 9am and had no way to get home. i just knew philip was totally alone, probably had fallen and smashed his head, and i was a terrible mother. i was screaming and wailing, and woke myself up doing it.

[Sue]

Oh, oh, sign me up for the cash prize contest. Would hate to beat you but could really use the dough. What was supposed to be just one more barely affordable has now turned into twins. The stress it is through the roof! Good luck with real estate choices - such a big decision.

[Jo]

oh my gosh, TWINS! Whoa boy. And congratulations!

[Meira]

I love you, Jo, and I'ma let you finish --

Kidding.

What I meant was, I love you, and I know things are very hard . . . but if I was still blogging, and willing to tell all -- I would TOTALLY win that contest. And, like you, that seems to be the only upside -- that my horror could win a contest.

Although, the more I tell my horror, the more I discover that a LOT of women are having some crappy times this spring/summer/fall.

(Forgive me, today is especially bad.)

[Jo]

oh, Meira, I'm sorry, for whatever it is. I'm cognizant that most of my stress is "okay stress" of changes but not horror.

Yeah, it seems to be Upheaval Times around the world. Is it always that way and I just don't always notice?

[marta]

oh jo, just when i think i cannot. paint. one. more. wall i take a break and you make me LAUGH! thanks, just what i needed to keep forging ahead.

xo mart

[katherine]

I feel for you... Things must be really tough for you right now. I hope everything calms down again soon...

Also: Pictures! We need pictures of Daphne! Give us some Cute!
And Sophia, too -- the big sis must be all grown up now....