You will be delighted to learn the name of the cream I was prescribed for my...difficulties. Heck, even the doctor made a face when she told me she was writing out a prescription for ANALPRAM.
Somebody got paid to come up with that. If not that specifically, at least someone who was being paid by the pharmaceutical company came up with that name. Yeah. How can I get me a job like that? I think it's the perfect name -- it's unpleasant, conjures up exactly the part of the body you may not wish to discuss with the nice people in line at the drugstore, and there's a joke in there somewhere, but you just...can't...squeeze it out.
Best we could come up with was some sort of pram-related mishap. Or maybe a poorly-considered stroller idea? Either way, from now on, whenever I load up Daphne in the stroller, I will be thinking about takin' my baby for a walk in the ANALPRAM.
Happily, the doctor was content merely to listen to my description of the problem and explication of the onset and progress of...things. Things which, by the way, are improving. Yes, internet, you're welcome! Take a ride in the ANALPRAM!
So, um, yes. Did you miss my compulsive oversharing? Yeah. Me too.