That's what Sophia has packed in her little ladybug lunch bag today. She helped make it, too.
I am either the coolest mother ever of all time, or I am about to entertain a visit from DCS, or at least a furious note home from the school for disrupting lunch time.
See, last night I was making one of my weird little Primal desserts -- 2 TB cashew butter, 1 TB cocoa powder, a teaspoon or two of vanilla egg white powder, some stevia -- and in kneading it all together I usually roll it up into a realistic-looking turd before I break it into little truffles to freeze. I mostly do this because one time I did it and Sean looked ill, and then I took a long loving bite of the turd and Sean actually gagged, so I make sure to do it periodically just to keep him on his toes. This is one of my secrets for a long and happy marriage. You are welcome.
So. Anyway. I was doing this last night and Sophia, who is perpetually dissatisfied with her school lunches, particularly the ones in which I replicate the lunch that she devoured happily the day previous, came wandering up and got very excited by my kitchen turd.
"Mom! Can I taste that?"
"Sure, but I don't know if you'll like it," I told her, since she hates cashew butter, and also everything that isn't cereal. Broccoli is now off the list. I gave her a little pinch.
"Mmmmm!" she said, as a look of somewhat malevolent glee crept over her face. "Mom, could I...could you put this in my lunch?"
"You like this enough to eat it for lunch?"
"Yeah! And can you make it look like poop? Just like this?" You could actually see the little gears in her head turning, catching, leading to ever more Calvin and Hobbes-esque imaginings. "I'm going to tell all the kids that it's poop and then I'm going to EAT it!"
So we made Sophia her own Lunch Turd. I could justify it by pointing out that I've been trying to edge her diet away from the constant stream of wheaty things she favors, and you can't get more awesome than a big log of protein and fat and fiber when it comes to fueling a long day of first grade, but really I'm just happy that my sweet little high-achieving nerd of a daughter has a prankish streak, and that her father and I can nurture it -- he by providing a library of Calvin and Hobbes books, and me by...well, you see the picture.
I'm just so goddamn proud of her.