Got a Minute?

« Medley, Mishmash, Mixed Bag | Main | The Stuff Is Here »

Comments

Julie

I want to be some sort of reproductive vigilante who goes around exacting revenge on doctors who tell women, "Take a couple of Tylenol before the procedure. It could get a little uncomfortable." The balloon we normally use, indeed.

What do these people have against adequate pain relief?Do they think we'll get addicted if they give us a single goddamn Vicodin? But now that I think of it, I've spent enough time in the stirrups that addiction might be a real concern.

Jo

You mean...a VAGINALANTE?

Maybe they just don't realize how much it fucking hurts, when hard inanimate things are shoved into, through, or up against soft living well-enervated things. I mean, it's totally counterintuitive, that inflating a BALLOON inside a UTERUS would hurt.

I think a large part of it is institutionalized sexism -- the unwillingness to take a woman's discomfort or complaints seriously, and a view that gynecological pain is just part of the Biblical punishment for that whole apple thing back in Genesis. Even if individual doctors don't believe that sort of thing, a lot of the behavior gets socialized into them during training.

Then there's the whole sticky wicket of the sorry state of pain relief science in this country. Another time, another time.

Julie

VAGILANTE!

You may well be onto something. The only time since I started treatment that I've been given appropriate medication for pain was after my in-hospital D&C. Is it a coincidence, I wonder, that a woman was presiding?

The in-office D&C was done under the influence of a single tab of Vioxx, BUT I'M NOT BITTER.

Kristine

The ideas that are born here...vaginalantes. Now there's a group that would really take off. Expand it to include general insensitivity and we'd be taking out OB's across the globe. Sign me up.

Julie

(Um, Jo, I am sorry for using your lovely blogspace to foam at the mouth about myself. In future I will foam only for you, my dear.)

OliviaDrab

First I have to say that Metformin is the work of the Devil.

Then I have to say that Talking Dr. Barbie is part of the Devil's medical army. There are many who suck just as much as she does, and they are all worthy of a good old-fashioned arse-whopping.

I hope... I truly hope.. that your HSG is with the bare minimum of discomfort. I would say "no discomfort" but the act of being naked while a probe and balloon are shoved into your netherlands is by its very nature, uncomfortable. I just hope for no additional discomfort... like "oops, we accidentally inflated the Hindenburg in your uterus! My bad!"

Julia

Jo, I'm dying here! Is it okay that I derive such sheer joy from knowing that so many other women share my perspective on HSGs and other causes worth of vaginalantism.

Am I the only one hoarding a few extra painkillers off any perscription to use on occassions such as these?

I hope that HSG goes spectacularly - someone who's more alert should turn that into a play on the word speculum.

Kristine

You mean like speculutacular?

Kristine

No, I think speculumtacularly. Although it's a bit cumbersome...is someone more alert out there??

Jo

Julie, foam away. The comments section is like a front porch -- a space both public and private.

Ah, Metformin. It is both God and the Devil as far as I'm concerned. It fixed my hormones and helped me drop 25 insulin-resistant pounds, and allows for occasional Oreo benders with a minimum of consequence. It will turn on you, though. And how. Cream of broccoli -- who'd've thought?

I think I like "vagilante" even better that "vaginalante" -- and I'll make sure to say "speculumtacular" during or immediately after the HSG. I am a compulsive joker. It isn't pretty. Of course, it'll be even less pretty, because if the Percocet kicks in as expected, I will be slurring my words and farting from sheer relaxation right there on the table.

Yeah, I allow farting here.

Carrie

Vageilante, speculumtacularly... OMG, I'm dying here. LOL.

Kristine

All your talk about farting brought to mind a terrible injustice being forced upon you wonderful women. Before giving birth to my first child, I was fairly modest about the whole bodily function thing. I remember people saying "oh once you have kids it all goes out the window." And they were right. (suffice it to say I peed all over the hospital hallway while walking from delivery to my room) I think it's shamefully unfair that you're losing your "dignity" (farting and spreading those legs for anyone in a white coat) without the payoff. What a load of crap! But if your "payoff" is in direct proportion to the indignities you went through the get him or her, you better be warned, 'cause you're in for some really gross kids!!

Julie

My dear, you are assuming we had dignity to begin with.

runnerwoman

I surfed over here from getupgrrl and Julie's space. I've enjoyed lots of your entries, but vagilante has me closing my office door, pretending that I'm wheezing and crying due to allergies, not my uproarious laughter.

I've always thought there was a need for some sort of league of women who can correct the injustices done to us by the medical establishment. For me, the ultimate punishment is forcing someone to go through pre-lap bowel prep. Perhaps you could present TDB with a smoothie, generously laced with Go-Lytely.

getupgrrl

Vagilantes unite! I love it. This calls for T-shirts and tattoos.

Kristine

I work in a corporate setting cleverly disguised as a non-profit, so I will gladly offer some advice about getting this group started. First of all, you might like the name Vagilantes, but you're going to need a focus group to determine if the name most efficiently conveys the group's mission statement. Oh, a mission statement. That takes months and months of meetings. And you'll need committees and sub-committees. Better get a focus group for that too. Then you'll need to write endless blather expounding on the mission statement, which you will call the "company profile." Actually, I recommend a consultant, just to make sure you've covered all the angles. So the group should be ready for action by, oh...2007.

PS- If you don't work in a corporate setting, I highly recommend Dilbert to bring you up to speed.

Lisa

If Jo's vaginalantes and getupgrrl's vagicrats join forces, we'll be unstoppable!

mollie

Don't want to get ova-rly excited, but I do love "vagilante." And "speculumtacular."

Oh, I love it here at Jo's. "Cervix with a smile," every time.

Kristine

I proclaim Mollie the winner...that was faaaah-bulous darling!

Jo

Y'all are out of conTROL! Cervix with a smile, indeed.

Just yesterday I was complaining to jilbur, "I want another tattoo, but I don't know what to get!" Now I have my answer.

Who wants to be the Vagilante pinup girl?

The comments to this entry are closed.