Where the Heart Is

The future of our domicile is uncertain.

Where we live, housing is assigned according to reverse seniority. Which means that incoming first-year graduate students are guaranteed housing. The longer you stay, though, the more likely you are to get the boot -- after your third year, things get dicey. My husband is now about to enter his fifth year, and the housing draw revealed just what we expected: a spot on the waitlist, but how far down we won't know until tomorrow.

We've been assured by the housing department that really, if we just sit out the summer on the waitlist, we're very likely to keep our apartment. We could take the risk of finding another place now, but that will cost at least another $400 a month (seriously, rents here are Manhattan-level), and would almost certainly not allow us to let the cat outside, keep our washing machine, and erode quality of life (i.e. pesticide-free living, cheap high-speed internet, free bus). And why do that if we might get to stay? We're only in this town for one more year, anyway.

Ah, but if we don't, then we're left scrambling for an apartment in August when they've all been rented, and not many places around here will allow a dog and cat. The options in this area are fairly limited; there are a lot of condos and giant apartment complexes like tipped-over ant farms. We lived in one, when we first moved here. It was $950 a month for one bedroom, and the following things happened:

-Wasps repeatedly got into our bedroom because of a quirk in the ventilation system. Said quirk consisted of a complete absence of screens in ductwork leading directly outside.

-When a new dishwasher was installed upstairs, the installer neglected to connect the outflow pipe properly. In fact, he neglected to connect it to anything at all. When the guy upstairs ran a load of dishes, fithy orange food-water poured into our ceiling, filling the light fixture. Management never repainted.

-The tiled shower wall caved in at the slightest pressure. It hadn't been sealed, and behind it was a colony of mold and mildew so advanced that it had its own space program. By way of repair, maintenance tacked some cardboard over the civilization and stuck on some fresh tiles.

-Green water would belch up from the bathtub drain and fill the tub about halfway before it went back down, leaving black chunky sediment and a decidedly swampy odor. They never did fix that, despite several visits from perplexed plumbers. "Roots in the pipes," one declared.

-Fungus gnats lived down there too, and would swarm out of the drain.

Our current apartment boasts none of these features, and yet somehow it is a fraction of the price. I have flowers and nice neighbors and I want to stay here, dammit, even if the water is so laden with iron that it leaves orange streaks in the bathtub and tastes like a handful of nails. I don't want to have to move to "Charming four-room cottage, country setting, W/D" -- I've been out to see it, and it is a tarpaper shack on a hill a good half-hour on a dirt road from a gas station. The closest neighbors seemed to be having a competition for Most Terrifying Gigantic Looming Plastic Light-Up Santa and/or Easter Bunny. My husband wondered aloud if they would take kindly to a Jew in their midst.

So. There is yet another area of our lives that requires the utmost patience. Four months from now, where will we be living? Will we be pregnant or moving on to IVF? Either way, there is one thing I know for certain: we'll be having none of this U-Haul business. I consider paying movers an infertility expense at this point.

Comments

[Milenka]

Oh, how I hate having to "wait and see" how things will turn up. Here's to hoping that you can just stay in your place for one more year... :-)

[Kristine]

Ah, yes! Because there aren't enough uncertainties in your life!! Now you must worry about having to pack your belongings between shots (maybe injectables, maybe tequila...the future is uncertain).

[Jo]

You know, maybe I should just relax!

[Kendra]

Exactly -- just relax... and you'll find yourself magically transported to a beautiful new home that costs half as much and has four times as much space. Sounds reasonable to me!

[Julia S]

I was muttering Oh dear, Oh dear until I got to the part about the dirt road/shack/Giganto-Christian-Lawn Display and then I shouted with joy! Jo, honey, you didn't say you were moving out by me!

We'll have a great time. The commute might be a little rough at first (you know, Minnesota and all) but it is mostly highway driving and you will LOVE those people down the road with the seven foot tall electric Nativity ...

Peaceful thoughts to you, my friend.