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Sherry

The flame so does not look like a flame. It's for sure, a labia.

I, too am on the metformin/glucophage train. The runs have subsided for me, but return with a vengence when I over do it on the carbs. Eat some cheese...that'll bound you up!

jilbur

Oh I can't help it: I now hear in my brain, I feel pretty, and witty, and BRAAAAAAAAAAT ...

So sorry. I know I'm a horrible friend ...

Mollie

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, Jo, this is a classic. A classic, I tell you! Fuck me but I wish I could write like you. Or just fuck me. But bring along a LOT of lube, because man, if you think my contact lenses are drying out... but I digress.

Jo, Honey, do you mind if I just sit here and gaze up at you through the tears in my eyes from laughing so hard at your outrageously well-crafted comedic ramblings?

I. Love. You.

Sanorah

I'm assuming you don't know my little friends the 'hemroidious hurtlikeafuckius' if you get along so well with daily diarrhea. Hope you never meet them!
Great post.

~Sanorah


Summer

Jo, you are Queen of the Badasses.

It's my beauty secret too. (Not metformin, but similarly badassed IBS.) And no, I haven't been to the doctor yet. I just bought size 4 pants off the Old Navy clearance rack and they are falling off of me. Why would I want to mess with this state of affairs?

Long Live the Queen.

kate

My favorite commercial for drugs warns "Side effects may include an irresistible urge to evacuate your bowels, and an inability to control them."

I love this post; I can't stop laughing.

GiBee

If it ever gets to a point that you're "tired" of the runs ... you might want to try Avandia (chem name is Rosiglitazone). Less side effects than Metformin (inluding less diarreah!).

It's good to know ... Just in case ...

Julia

Man, I just can't get over how lucky you are to have an "out of the way" toilet at work. I thought they outlawed those in '77.

Jo

Ah, the roids of terror -- how well I know them, sadly. In fact I always have my tub o' Tucks at the ready, but unless I'm shooting Gonal-F, they don't trouble me too much. We live together in uneasy harmony, like distant roommates. Except, you know, in my ass.

But I will never desert Metformin -- it just works SO WELL for me! Like Summer said, why mess with perfection? It also has the benefit of 40 years of solid safety profile for long-term use. Oh yeah. Now I'm getting all hot. But I still feel pretty...

Anna

My husband takes Metformin and gets those runs too, if he takes it too late, or eats too late, or eats certain things, or takes the pill while wearing red or facing east, or or or. He is, however, not quite as pretty as you.

beth

All I've got to say is "I'm so over Jordan Catalano!"

gretchen

Hi Jo,

Not to sound like a smart ass, but have you tried splitting up your dosage? I take 2 at night and one in the morning. This allows my poopy to be quiet and controlable while still soft and satisfying. And I still eat LOTS of sugar and other carbs. Just a thought...

Hang in there!
-Gretchen

beaver girl

I keep thinking of that episode too because the name of the band is "Frozen Embryos". Weird.

Anne

I’m oh so jealous of your out of the way bathroom. I’ve got IBS of the “IT IS TIME TO FIND A BATHROOM NOW” variety but at least I can attempt to exert some control over my bodily functions. It seems that high fat foods and coffee are triggers for me so if I have that Mocha in the afternoon or that baked Mac & Cheese for lunch I can just expect to be groaning and grunting in the loo about 20-40 minutes later. On the good side of this I have gone down a dress size since cutting the fat, I can plan when I want to take a dump (well sort of ), but damn it I still really love to have coffee in the afternoon but I don’t have a handy out of the way bathroom. Grrr!

Jo

OH MY GOD I forgot the band was called Frozen Embryos!

Truly this is a disturbing universe.

getupgrrl

Suuuuure it was "accidental."

jen

I'm just so so glad I'm not the only one who decided that Metformin means I get to still eat all the crap I want! Yay crap!

beaver girl

Ok, the Levitra ads - yes on the labia logo - and it's so clear that that chick in the commercial is not his wife (she refers to him as "my guy") and she is wearing the shirt he was wearing when he showed up all full of Levitra and ready to bang her. Message? Cialis is for getting it up for your wife; Levitra is for getting it up for your mistress. Not that I'm a prude but it's strange that it's product positioning for a specific type of nookie.

OliviaDrab

I just can't stop laughing at "The Diarrhea Makes Me Pretty." I picture this as someone's album cover, a corss between a deranged beauty pageant and Carrie but with poo instead of fake blood.

Dr. Kate

Hey Jo! And to all you other metformin-takers out there. I happened to have just rotated through the endocrinology clinic last month and boy howdy, that diarrhea sure is a common complaint. What the docs here in VT do is actually they recommend changing over to Metformin XR. Since it is an extended release it seems to have less of an effect on the GI system, so it might be the thing to try.

For PCOS, I don't think that Avandia has the same effect of metformin. Also, Avandia can actually cause weight GAIN because they work by different mechanisms (metformin increases periperhal sensitivity to insulin, while Avandia stimulates the pancreas to produce more insulin).

And IBS women with diarrhea symptoms--look into Lotronex. It's hard to find a doc to prescribe it to you, since it was temporarily pulled from the market a few years ago, but it has made a huge difference in many women's lifestyles. (including mine, when my IBS was bad.)

Anyway, just my $0.02. :-)

Jo

Good points all, Dr. Kate. I've been taking the Metformin XR all along (so glad it comes in the generic) and while I love it, I suspect that because the absorption follows a curve (rather than being constantly released), that's part of what causes my daily scheduled crapper visit, since it's the empty pill-husks that always seem to lead the charge. When I briefly switched back to the regular met (because I ran out of XR), the daily trot was not a factor. But I never could remember to take it, so XR (once a day, though I know some people stagger the dose) it is, and diarrhea notwithstanding, that metformin, it is quality stuff. The mechanism by which it works seems so perfectly suited to PCOS, and damn if I don't feel about thirty times better these days.

Man, I'm jealous of your endocrinology rotation.

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