Leery Polyp: I Can't Even Figure Out What to Call This. Oh, Screw It. I'm Going To Watch TV.

Eh. So uninspired these days. I have little to report.

Things that happened today:

I spent an hour at work using the prison bitch name generator, which I will not even link to because it is so puerile and offensive, and because I don't believe for a second that "Heywood Djablomi" is a prison bitch name, unless the prison is populated exclusively by the twelve-year-old younger brothers of frat boys, to assign names to various department members*. Yes, it's awful. But there's something very satisfying about seeing the head of the department dubbed "The Receptacle."

*Mine was "Honey Hole."

I had a vodka tonic with tart cherry juice. On a school night.

My husband asked me why we weren't presently watching The Wicker Man.

Did you know they make liquorice Altoids?

Things that happened over the weekend:

My mother-in-law visited. It was a lovely visit, with the hilarious exception of a conversation regarding dressing boys in pink. I maintained, in stark contrast to the opposition, that it will not damage them forever. Tune in on Thanksgiving for the next exciting debate.

In addition, she purchased for me a pair of purple fishnet knee socks.

Blah blah blah, what else? Oh yeah, I made an appointment for a consultation to LASERBLAST THE SHIT out of my chin hair and twirly turn-of-the-century-villain mustache. Maybe it'll be a total scam, where they're all like, if you don't pay us forty thousand dollars to fry those pubes we can see cresting over your sexy purple knee socks, we're so not touching your bristly chin. And I'll be all like, HRRAAAAAA! SMASH! But on the inside.

On the outside I'll be all like, *sniffle*.

(Later, however, I will lash them to the railroad tracks to the accompaniment of plinky piano music.)