We Interrupt the Composition of the Plastics Post to Bring You:

SOLIDS POOP! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Man, you know it's a good one when THREE people need a bath afterwards. And the floor needs to be cleaned. And several articles of clothing.

And then the bathtub.

* * * * *

I pity the fool who tries to email me. Because when I eventually remember that I have that email account, and then I check it, usually I am a) under extreme time pressure and b) close to incoherent. So a blanket apology to all, on the subject of correspondence, and a thanks for your continuing valiant efforts.

* * * * *
Dear Salon.com's Broadsheet,

I'm sorry I yelled at you. I really like you. Can we be friends?

xoxox,
Jo

* * * * *

Still working on the plastics replacement post. Still turning up areas for improvement in own life. To wit: the Brita pitcher. Filter out the lead only to replace with bisphenol-A, because is polycarbonate! Argh. And husband will not spring for swanky-ass new tap filter until the pitcher is totally destroyed (which makes sense in a way) so proposed filter into Brita, pour into glass pitcher in fridge. Not bad. A bit cumbersome, but I'll just keep the baby occupied with this roll of toilet paper, and...hey, what's that in your mouth, honey? ***Edited to add: No, it really didn't go down that way: I said, huh, maybe we ought to get rid of the Brita. And he was like, why don't we keep it until it wears out, but if you're worried about leaching, maybe we should pour the water into a glass pitcher. And I was all, Okay, sounds good. Just wanted to clarify, because here it sounds like he's both bad guy and bursar. And he's neither.

Yeah. Stuff dissolves almost on contact. Like a breath-strip thing. But, you know, for your ass. (Or apparently your baby's mouth.)

* * * * *
Finally got me a haircut. Chin-length, choppy. Very cute. Feeling punk rock. Bought this book and started hacking up all my awesome t-shirts that no longer stretch across the nursing-mama rack. I hope it will be a hilarious cultural artifact for Sophia when she's about thirteen. I hope I will be a hilarious cultural artifact for Sophia when she's about thirteen.

* * * * *
One more: You ever get things stuck in your head? Snippets of annoying music, that kind of thing? Me too, of course, but it's worse than that: I get phrases. I get single words. And I can't just think them (though I do, over and over and over), I have to say them. Or at least mouth them. I am compelled to do so. Recent obsessions include:

• eleemosynary
• Sting-Ass (from Jul, or more properly, her sister)(I know -- what kind of horrible person could read such a heavy, heartfelt post and come away with "Sting-Ass"? The answer: the kind of person who does the following.)
• I eat my peas with honey, I've done it all my life/It makes the peas taste funny, but they can't slide off my knife

The last one, sadly, must be recited in a terrible pretend-Sean Connery/Groundskeeper Willie-type Scottish accent, emphatically, like so:

"Ah eet mah peas with HOHNEH! Ah've doon et ALL mah LAEHF! Et meks the PEAS test FOHNNEH but they CAHN'T slide OOF mah KNAHF!"

Over. And over. And over.

I'm sorry.

Comments

[Vix]

Oh, God its such a relief to know I'm not the only one! Some of my great hits for repeated words
Printemps
Melenkurion Skyweir

it gets me worse when I'm tired or ill or both

[jess]

I get words & phrases stuck, too. Or song lyrics minus the melody. Things like "seabiscuit."

[Kira]

I thought I was the only one who did that! I thought I was CRAZY! But YOU do it too, which means...
hmmm...
Anyhow, I get phrases stuck in my head, snippets from books or conversations or GOD KNOWS WHAT. Things like:
She turned, and saw...
For the first time he thought...
So, if you had known, would you have...

V. V. annoying.

[Foster]

SO, I buy, like, 99% of our groceries at Whole Foods (one day we will be broke, but well be 102 and broke), and after all of the plastics talk, I had to check their refillable water jugs. I did this b/c I *knew* that they were PC plastic, but I looked anyway. Yup, polycarbonate. At Whole Foods, the store that will not sell Airborne herbal supplements b/c they contain sucralose. Ahem. So, I filled out a complaint card! I know, I know, how cheesy and hyper-vigilant, and how I wanted to include a post script apology b/c they have to get something like 50 of those a day saying things like, "You know, microwaves are the king of all evil, so why do you cary microwaveable meals????" The guy behind the conter was all, "I thought that the hard, clear plastic was supposed to be the non-evil kind!?!" and I was all, "I know! But it's not!!? Uhm, check out Sierra Club. Go stainless steel. w00t."

Okay, I guess I dont care THAT much if they sell them, but they need to have a warning sign posted by them, uh, warning people.

And those SIGG bottles are WAY too expensive. I can by PC bottles for a dollar at Target. SO rediculous.

[Jo]

Yeah, Foster, at our co-op they sell polycarb bottles, and a woman was picking one out (I was looking at the stainless steel bottle for $12), and informed me that the label said it was safe so it should be okay, and anyway it was hard plastic.

I kept my mouth shut. It's so hard to avoid this stuff.

Seabiscuit.
Seabiscuit.

Seabiscuit.

[deborah]

The BRITA is BAD? Oh, nooooooooooooooo!

[Ariella]

I have issues with the words "contretemps" and "detente." Maybe it's because they're French, but when I think of them, I use them over and over. I cannot get away from them. I curve my conversations to accomodate them. I'm sure it's cute to some and obnoxious to others.

Kudos for eleemosynary. First time I saw that word was in a Justice Cardozo case in my Contracts casebook and it is the ONLY word I had to look up throughout my law school career. I will never forget the definition.

[Jo]

Ariella, the sad thing is that the main trigger for "eleemosynary" for me is:

Elmo. A little stuffed baby Elmo thing that plays Old MacDonald Had a Farm. Sophia likes to bite its eyes on car trips.

[StyleyGeek]

Argh! I have had the "I eat my peas with honey" rhyme stuck in my head for the last two weeks, and today was the first day I hadn't thought of it. So thanks for the reminder :S

[DebbieS]

Jo,

Thank you for the lovely earworm.

[SusanF]

I get "pregnant" a lot. And various movie phrases. And sometimes they echo. I'm glad to know that if I'm crazy, at least I'm not alone!
So, about the plastic thing--do you avoid buying food products packaged in plastic? I've been thinking about this more and more (no frozen veggies?!) and watching how many different ways plastic infiltrates my life, and wow, it's around a lot!

[SusanF]

I mean I hear "pregnant" a lot, in my head. Not "I get pregnant a lot." Just thought I'd clarify that. :D

[kate]

I get words stuck in my head too - I thought I was the only one. I don't have to say them, but I *do* have to trace them in the air w/ my finger. Some recent ones:

Kilimanjaro
Wellbutrin
Diproportionate

[DoctorMama]

During the first Gulf War, I got the phrase "Iraqi Foreign Minister Tariq Aziz" stuck in my head. Sometimes it was just shortened to the name -- Tariq Aziz, Tariq Aziz, Tariq Aziz.

There, now I have the feds combing through your blog, if they weren't already.

[dish]

I get words stuck, too, but most of the time it is music. And I don't have a freakin' volume knob for my head. So, it ranges from "background music that I can mostly ignore" to "raging party will you turn that the fuck down already." Most of the time the latter happens after my chorus rehearsal, which means that the raging party is blaring BARBERSHOP music.

Yes, I am looney.

[katie]

No, no, you're wrong - that is not a Sean Connery accent, it has to be said in a redneck Southern accent. Or possibly like Winnie-the-Pooh (Alan Bennett NOT Disney).

[Meira]

Good point about the Brita pitcher-- I feel like an idiot for not thinking of it.

[Rosemary Grace]

*deep breath*
popacatapetl
popacatapetl
popacatapetl
popacatapetl

Imagine each repeat down a note on a major scale. It was an exercise I did in choir ten years ago. In my head for ever more.

My husband will be happy, he's been wanting to get the tap filter for aaaages, I didn't want to replace a perfectly good filter jug. I am the main driving force behind our household "lets cut down on carcinogens" project (she says while slurping water from a polycarbonate bottle from Whole Foods. gah.) but only because I'm the one anal enough to research all this info, and I'm the one who's already had cancer once.

[Stephanie]

Ya'll funny.
Makes me think about my sweet li'l 8 year old boy who sometimes breaks out in "FranCISco" over and over.

[SarLiveSound]

Not to step on Jul's toes here, but I'll have you know that Sting-Ass wasn't a real cicada, but one of those dead shells that clings to the tree- and I chased her around with Sting-Ass for weeks until it was discovered that he was full of itty-bitty spiders. Then he went back to the tree. But when I find a replacement, Jul should be very afraid, because this time I won't just chase her around with it. I'll be much more clever about it. She'll open her bathroom cupboard in the morning to find, right there, perched on TOP OF HER TOOTHBRUSH... that's right, Sting-Ass the Second!

Now I've added two words to it for you to mull over: STING ASS THE SECOND! STING ASS THE SECOND!

As if having DoctorMama sic the feds on you wasn't enough, now you'll get all sorts of hits from the S+M crowd! ("Wait a second... this site doesn't have anything to do with ass-stinging!")

[heather]

you all crack me up!
which isn't hard, cause i'm already cracked.

phrases/lyrics/individual words... melodies... in my head all the time. have always been. i think moxie mentioned something like this in her 'strange things about me' (poorly paraphrased by me) post awhile back... she traces these echoes with her toes was it? me, i trace with my fingers (endlessly until i 'reach the end of one hand' - soooo OCD) or my TEETH. clack clack clack.

didn't i see 'eleemosynary' at starbucks, with all their fun spelling-bee word promotion of Akeela and the Bee?

if only the words in my head would be USEFUL, like those dictionary.com sends me daily...

oh, and i nearly peed myself (will not admit how closely i came to actually leaking) saying that rhyme in my head in the connery accent. you are hella hilarious. ha.