In Which I Give You What You Want

(First: I have pictures, but am having exporting problems. They'll be up later.)

At 11 months (as of yesterday), Sophia's been walking for a week. The first time she took two shuffling steps and then bent into a downward dog pose; later that day, she shocked both Sean and me by taking six or seven staggery, enthusiastic steps. Now she practices constantly. The effect is somewhere between landlubber on board a ship in heaving seas, and drunken sorority girl about to tell you how much she loves you guys. The appletinis are wearing off, though. She's getting her sea legs. The best part about walking is that you can continue to offer the dog your rice cracker even as she tries to escape your affections.

The only reliable way to get a few minutes of peace is to let her get at the bookshelf -- hers or ours. She'll sit for minutes on end, turning pages, considering. Other favorite activities include placing a colander on her head like a pith helmet, and trying to get into the toilet.

After "Oh wow!" and Mama and Dada, Sophia has demonstrated the consistent ability to identify monkeys as "Oo oo!" and dogs as "Oohf oohf!" I can tell the difference, at least. Also included in the "oohf oohf" category: the otter on the box of Peach Ice tea, the goat on the goat yogurt container, and a preying mantis finger puppet. Birds, especially bright tropical birds, go "Aah! Aah!"

The sweetest, though: I was bouncing her to sleep, exhausted and sore of back; in a halfhearted attempt to introduce sleep cues blah blah yadda, I told her, "Night night. Night night."

And then she said: "Nigh nigh."

Then she said "Mamamamamamamama! Nananananana!"

Then, "Nigh nigh" again.

Oh yeah.

Oh! Oh! And the coolest, most hilarious, absolute best thing is that, after drinking water, she goes, "Ahhhh!" Like some '70s Pepsi commercial! And now that's how she asks for a drink. Screw that BabySigns business, she says. Bring me some Aaaahhhhh. Last night she made a connection: nursing = drinking! I should say "Ahhh!" after nursing! And so she did.

What else, what else: she waves a perfect little Queen Elizabeth wave and says, "Haaahhhh!" to everyone we pass on the street, in her (now beloved) stroller. The effect is Virginia Ham Queen on a parade float, and it is only slightly lessened by the Tim Burtonish style of the stroller, and by the asthmatic wheezing emanating from the sweaty woman pushing the stroller. (That's me! Haaaahhh!)

The pointing and "Dat!" phase has begun, and it is very cute, and is forcing me to bust out the anatomically accurate language sooner than I'd figured. "Yes, that's...that's Mommy's vulva! No, we don't pull on...here's your froggy, do you want to play with your froggy? Yes, that's a vulva." Deliberate dropping of objects is still in effect, now with an added layer of awesomeness. Sophia flings her stuffed kittycat to the floor, and then stares meaningfully at me, and intones, "Uh!" with a big glottal stop. "Uh! Uh!" It's the closest she can get to "Uh-oh!" and it means, "Madam, I suggest you pick up that kittycat right this second or I will SCREECH at you!" Down goes the kittycat! Uh!

The screeching. Oh, the screeching. It is to be used anytime a thing is desired, and doubly so if the thing is denied. Cup of coffee, beer bottle, interior of dishwasher, caramelized walnuts. Jar of garlic rice crackers (which are allowed, but only one at a time). Mommy's wallet, which is now off-limits after Mommy had to hie her ass on down to the DMV to replace the driver's license that went missing after one of Sophia's explorations. That wallet better not be the least bit visible, if you want to keep your eardrums intact. The will! The tiny will!

I don't know how it happened so fast. Over the course of a week, my baby has turned into a toddler. A sort of walking, kind of talking, imperious, pesky, determined, giggly toddler.

Comments

[AChildIsBorn]

That is one of the coolest, funnest times...that transition from crawling to walking. Amazing how much more grown up they suddenly seem.

Thank goodness, then, that even with all their walking and exploring, they still haven't burned off the layer of fat around their wrists and ankles that leaves the rubberband-type line. That delicious line seems to be last vestige of babyhood.

[Susan]

My daughter once slid two of my credit cards behind the panel of faux cabinets below the sink/countertop in a hotel. The only way I figured it out was by getting on her level and seeing where she could have slipped something, as I'd seen her sliding things under the TV earlier and figured she'd found another slot.

[Mandy]

I love the "Aaahhh" after drinking. My 2-year old (my god! how did he get to be 2 already?!) does that and it still gets me every time. So tasty! So refreshing!

[mama-beans]

My daughter still hasn't noticed any vulva-ish stuff although when we brought her baby brother home that was the first thing she pointed out with a "waz tha??" and a tiny finger pointing, followed by an attempt to pull it off.....Although she is almost 2 now,seriously, I say THIS is my favorite age at least once a month, and have been saying that since she was around 8 months old. It gets better and better. Kids are awesome

[Lilian]

Oh, she's so unbearably cute and bright!! I can't believe she's walking already!! Mine were both late walkers (13 months), but very early talkers - which she seems to be too! It gets so much easier when they can communicate - they don't get so frustrated. Oh, yes, and books were the only things that made my youngest quiet down for a bit.

Fun, fun times! Enjoy!

[cloudscome]

We have one of those drunken babies at our house now too. It is so entertaining and exhausting at the same time! Punkin's thing is to climb the couch and go for the remotes hidden on the high book shelf or climb into the windowsill. I can no longer turn my back on him. In a few months it will be hard to remember exactly what this is like, so I am loving your writing all about it.

[Beth]

Oh, I can just see the cuteness in my head. Isn't it amazing how you can tell the difference between only slightly different baby "words"? Bowie is just starting to figure out vocal communications, but already we can tell the difference between "uummDAT" (which means give me more of that yummy foodstuff that you have)and "MMdat" (which whmeans I see my daddy).

I love your description of Sophia walking. Isn't it adorable how their steps seem so big for their little bodies. When Ani started walking we compared it to a tiny Sumo wrestler first and then Dr. Zoidberg when the gait became slightly faster. We tried to teach her how to say "wopwopwopwopwo", but she never quite got it.

[Jo in Utah]

It is fun to share the development of Sophia with my Little Pea, (my grand daughter) While she has been walking since 8 months, her vocabulary looks shabby next to your daughters. I am glad to hear about the will. Somehow in the last 20 years or so, I had forgotten that 1 year olds were so demanding, all I remembered is how sweet they are compared to two year olds. I will be sure to tell my daughter her Pea is normal!

[Shasta]

Pictures! Oh boy!

The "Ahhhh!" Oh man, that is so funny. My almost 12 month old speaks in complete sentences. Just not in any language I can understand. I am definitely looking forward to the appearance of English words in her vocabulary.

Books are a surefire hit here, too. But she can't "read" unsupervised, unless I want them to constitute the major portion of her nutritional intake. "Board books? Pah! Those pathetic pages are no match for the powers of my cardboard-melting saliva and 8 teeth!"

Your daughter sounds absolutely darling. This is truly an amazing time, and I'm constantly bowled over by how incredible kids are.

[Beth in Michigan]

It all happens so fast! Gah! I can't believe it was just a year ago we were placing bets on whether she was going to be a Leo or a Virgo.

I'm only a little envious because I just realized the other day that my 6-year-olds toes have become very nearly inedible. They are no good anymore unless they are freshly bathed. It's a shame, I miss my baby toes. ;)

Speaking of people with formerly edible toes, I'm at the other end now with the first one, he will be 15 this fall, he's on his third girlfriend already and I just bought him a drum kit. Next up: Drivers Training! (Shudder!)

Sort of delurking because I have a second too say hi. Just wanted you to know I'm still hanging around, loving your stories!

Have a safe trip!

[Anne]

Wow it's been sooo long since I last came over here ..... why have I taken so long? Well the nearly 10 month old who has also discovered the power of screeching explains things a lot. Don't know how you moms with bolgs do it - find time to write, but I'm so gald you do b/c it sure helps me to feel sane. I'm so loving this age but like you I findmyself wondering were did my little baby go?

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[James]

WOW! and erm WOW. Personally i'd say they were some of your best pictures yet. What a wudrenfol way to document Jonas' entry into the world.How you were able to take them with all that going on i have no idea, how you got your wife not to punch you whilst taking pics of her in labour is even more of a talent )Congratulations to you Both, you're family is just beautiful.Caz. xxxx

[Pedro]

Welcome little Jonas!A beiauuftl wee family, Congratulations guys.The video made me cry Steve, but I'll let you off with it. Love and hugs to all,Lisa (& Rowland) xxx

[Riley]

Varghese Thomas: Sub.: Spider-Man Live @ Burjuman:01. Is there any Entry Fee? If Yes, How much per head (Adult & Child)?02. And How long the show duration?03. Is panrikg available?

[Frank]

Congratulations to you all !!!The photos catupre the emotions as always in true Steve style. In years to come these will bring it all back to you.Treasure these early years they go so quick !

[Ramazan]

It seems very sad alot of the things that the copnmay does to take advantage of the employees and work them like slaves. That in what I can only express in simple English in hopes that Foxxcon managers could read. The living conditions at the factorys are unhappy. There are alot of things that they could do to make the employees happy. Reduce the rent on the dormatorys. Reduce the number of employees in each dorm. Offer Laundry services and community baths and hot showers for the employees. Bring in Managers that would treat the employees better. Offer incentives for employees to stay longer like a paid weeks vacation after a year. Things that American copnmays would do but maybe a halfway for the chinese copnmays to treat their employees. reduce mandatory overtime to 2 hours a day. Allow employees to talk quitely to friends and encourage them to make friends. Eliminate the dry cleaning fines. Allow each dormatory to have one computer. Reduce the size of the computer lab.[]

[Pavan]

I m out of words the only feeling i have in me is rsmoree for these people, i am turning 20 very soon and Happy's story saddens my day. actually reading this article was the last in my mind until our labour law lecture gave us a homework about the suicidal Afconn employees. I WOULDNT WISH what they are going through even on my worst enemy(not that i have one) i just hope and believe that ONE OF THE good days God will free them from this slavery.[]