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February 25, 2010


She threw a shoe at you while you were driving? I'm not going to give you a hard time about screaming at her.

Four year olds are hard... mine were harder at four than two. Hang in there. You have a great relationship with her, and that will carry you through the meltdowns.

PLEASE do not beat yourself up over this. You are an aware, involved parent going through a crazy amount of stress right now. Yeah - sometimes you slip but you are raising resiliant and resourceful daughters. You are not scarring her for life with every little slip. You are doing your best, and that's pretty amazing.

It really should go without saying but - I am so, so sorry that things are so sad with your father.

It sounds like it's high time for you to focus on yourself for a while. I'm assuming you've got your support systems in place to make sure the kids and pets don't starve or go wild during your recovery, so please, take that time to put your own needs first for a while.

And if you need some awesome TV to watch online while you're all loopy on pharmaceuticals, I highly recommend RuPaul's Drag Race.

Some 13-year-old confidence will go un-confided regardless. Just keep the chin up and keep on doing your best. That's all that any of us can do.

How's this for bad. Last night during our little bedtime chat I said "aren't you proud that I didn't yell at you when you had your big, long tantrum today?" to my three year old. Like *he* should be proud of *me* for remaining calm. Ugh. But *I* am proud of *me*.

I think car safety is nonnegotiable. You could have handled it worse- one of my aunts, instead of removing things, would give them to the offender's sibling. Yeah. Guess who hate each other now?

I agree with Summer- take some time to focus on you. I haven't seen RuPaul's show, but I find Judge Judy is good casual viewing. I hope to someday smack down whiners like she can.

throwing stuff in the car is a big deal; it could cause everyone tremendous pain (or worse) if done at just the wrong time, and there's nothing wrong, in my opinion, with letting her know what a serious deal it is.

one of the things you seem to forget about your parenting style that is so fantastic is that you are very, very consistent (even if it means you consistently yell after reaching a certain point). the boundaries are very clear, you are not unpredictable.

go easy on yourself Jo-bird. Those 4 year olds are tough creatures (and our parents too)!

juliag, HA HA HA. I'm with you there.

gretchenosis, so what you're saying is that I need to introduce a clown suit and Bozo wig into my discipline scheme?

Thanks, you guys. It helps. It does.

What you've just taught Sophia is so much more important than never yelling. It's that sometime we get mad at each other, sometimes we yell, and most importantly, yes, we sometimes make mistakes. The loving and difficult trick is showing them that you're willing to admit when you might have handled things better, and that you are always going to be their mama, no matter what. You did just that under extreme conditions. I wish my parents could have done that for me and I hope like anything that I'm doing that for my son.

I'm so sorry things are so hard right now. You are caring beautifully for your girls and for your dad. Be sure to care for yourself too. Hang in there and know that there are tons of good thoughts being sent your way.

Four year olds have to be the most difficult people on the planet. Please, no one tell me how much worse the teenage years will be or I might just eat my children this very moment.

You are a hell of a mom, and don't let any small people convince you otherwise.

joanna: you must also promise her a lifetime supply of archway cookies.


I don't mean to throw a monkey wrench in you carefully laid out plan, but ... could you postpone surgery for awhile? You sure have had A LOT of change in the past year. If you are not in pain and can manage to eat, do you need to do this right now?

Understandable, Micaela. However, it doesn't really make sense to postpone, since scheduling this is a HUGE pain, as it depends on the spring break timing of two different universities, OR availability, orthodontic timing, and my proposed back-to-school plan. Oh, and let us not forget the insurance company's timeline.

Bottom line is, there's really not going to be a better time to do it, shocking as that may be! :) At least I'll have Sean and my mom around all week...

Good luck with your jaw surgery!

Sometimes I give it back if it's something they 'need' [you've only got one pair o' shoes, kid!].

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