Five Months of Awesome

We had this decrepit chihuahua when I was growing up (and then after -- little dogs live a long time). She went by many names but the final name, that stuck up until her demise, was Boo, and so I shall refer to her thusly.

Boo was shaky, old, and toothless, lame and halt after an injury sustained in her youth, and yet something would happen on a warm afternoon -- she'd prance around the yard, zip through the grass in antic circles like a squirrel. "Oh, Boo's having her second youth," my mother would say.

* * * * *

So! I got into nursing school! Well, one of my nursing schools. The one where I come out with a BSN and then later on I have to apply to an MSN program, but which is less likely to kill me in the process. (Still waiting on school 2. I'll keep you posted.) School starts in August.

Which means my second youth can't be spontaneous -- it can't wait for a warm spring afternoon. Hey, I'm a busy mama. I have to schedule that shit. Yep, I have five months left to cram in ALL THE AWESOME I POSSIBLY CAN.

Some of it is awesome of the racing-around-in-circles-in-the-grass variety: Sharing a case of the Fuck-Its with my kids on a beautiful afternoon, converting the dining room into the Art and Music Salon and just leaving the paper and crayons out all the time, encouraging reading at the table by, oh, everyone. 

Some of the awesome is of the ostensibly superficial variety: every haircut I've ever wanted, from mohawk to purple stubble (I've had shaved but not PURPLE shaved), remembering to play my old music loud at every opportunity and to pay attention to new music, wearing the ridiculous combinations of shorts and tights that I've loved and put away over the years (why? Why did I stop wearing shorts and tights ever?). I say superficial because yes, hair and clothes are not the same as artistic expression or life changes, but you know what, that stuff can be a touchstone for the part of your self you don't want to lose. I've let go of that self here and there over the years and it's always a relief and a joy when she returns to me. So I wear the knee-high stompin' boots to remind me to kick my OWN ass about being who I really am. I do funny things with my hair even when I'm not really feeling up to it because it sharpens my awareness of any disconnect between who I am and who I want to be.

And finally, some of the awesome is actual, real stuff I want to accomplish. I hate to mention specifics because I fear I'll doom my projects to the Idea Scrapyard but there are things I need to write and draw and DO, and at least one of them needs to come to completion before August. I have a deadline. I have an Estimated Date of Delivery, people. It's all sketchbook form now but when it's not I'll let you know. Pinky swear.

Five months of awesome. Five months left before everything about our lives changes so radically as to render September unimaginable. 

But I want to know about you, readers. I want to know how you keep ahold of your self when changes come. What are your touchstones? Your road signs? How do you know you're still you when you feel like you've been knocked off your orbit? How do you come back to your self if you get too far afield? 

Comments

[Heather]

Ok, so I work full-time, my son is 3.5, and I'm in grad school. Meanwhile I sit on a local healthcare board, I am learning the ukelele, for a bit I was on the library board, and my family lives 800 miles away so I travel back and forth with some regularity.

Most important thing - know 2 or 3 things that keep you healthy and guard them fiercely. For me, my vitamin trifecta and my sleep are untouchable. If I mess with those the whole shebang crumbles so I do NOT mess with them. Make sure you know in these 5 months what you are going to need to protect to keep moving.

Also, being effective is better than being ineffective and repetative. Give yourself an hour to do that thing and.then.stop. When the warm day and the kids call to you more than pharm memorization give yourself the time to throw yourself into the day and the kids instead of sitting outside with them and half-@ssing both parts.

Congratulations! It'll be great.

[Lilian]

oh, lovely lovely questions!

I don't really know how to answer, except to share tidbits about my life... the past 16 years of the total 40, that is...

I knew we were going to go for HUGE change...
(Hey!! I know the answer to the first question, but I'll keep on rambling, is that OK? I should probably make this into a blog post later)
... after we got married back in 1994. A year and a half later we sold most of our things, put the rest in storage and came from Brazil to the U.S. of A.

a year later K was going to graduate school and I was enrolling as special student & 2 years later was admitted. 4 years into that, I HAD to have a baby and the other one happened 2 years later. Moving to philly with a newborn followed, and it took me two more years to finish the phd (2008). but it was not until 2010 that life really started for us -- when K got a TT job & I started teaching again.

And the answer to your question is?

I write on my various journals and I re-read them. Often. It's a DEEP need that I have which constantly reminds me of who I really am and who I thought I was going to be and what I am now. I feel grounded, I feel strong and I see how bad things turned out OK in the end. Lately I've been starting to re-read blog posts too. Of course writing on paper is nicer to read.

So, yeah... I guess that answers part of your inquisitiveness here.

ENJOY your five months of awesome!!!! I really really really wanted to go visit my aunt in TN so I could see you before you turn into a "very serious nursing student" (blah... you won't change that much, will you?). OK, have to go clean my house and cook soup.

[jeanette1ca]

YES!!!! Oh, no doubt it's going to be hectic, but Heather has the right take on it - give yourself permission to breathe deeply and be in the moment, whether it's a 5-minute music break, and hour with the kids or a half-day catching up on life. You'll make it and we'll be here cheering!

[Jen]

Awesome, many congratulations!!!!

My main piece of advice is learn to be flexible. Your life is going to be a tackled semester by semester, week by week between assignments and clinical rotations, and when it gets really hard hour by hour between exams. And don't expect to cram in all the expectation for your life in the next 5 months. Relax, enjoy your kiddos and get prepped for the craziness. Cook some meals for the freezer, exercise, talk with your husband A LOT (I really missed just chatting with my husband in the evenings, he was always studying), and put together a schedule for how you plan to get all the home duties done between the 2 of you when you're completely booked with coursework.

My only personal piece of advice as a working mom of 1 and wife to a full-time student nurse/PCA for the last 4 years is to get enough sleep. I can handle anything as long as I've had a good solid 7 hours. Anything less and bumps in the road start to feel overwhelming.

[snozma]

Oh gosh, I never get back on track because I go into horrible denial and everything goes totally awry before I notice.

Yoga though--yoga helps somehow with this problem.

I would basically just blow off everything but work and quality time with your kids. That's how I manage. The house is messy and insane. I take days off on the weekends when I should work and they are WONDERFUL.

Then my life goes to hell completely from that...

Congrats about the nursing school! :)