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June 13, 2012


It's normal to read a lot of yourself into someone else's diagnosis. Right. RIGHT?

(Glad you have a doctor you like.)

wow, that's fascinating stuff... mixed type bipolar... had never heard of it, but glad that you psychiatrist was so spot on!

can't wait for the longer version and this medicine name totally rocks, Trileptal! wow... totally rhymes with the Southern Brazilian expression "trilegal" which means three times as awesome or "tri-cool" (legal in Portuguese meaning both "legal" and "awesome, nice, cool")

And here goes a Portuguese sentence for you:
"É trilegal que você vai tomar Trileptal!"
It's thrice as cool that you're taking Trileptal...

I know, stupidly silly, but still, I hope you enjoy the silliness. And I still don't know whether I'm going to go teach at your "alma mater" the 3h commute for *daily* classes is scaring me away. sigh. but maybe I'll change my mind and answer in their favor. Sigh.

oh yay! i can't wait to hear more.

I love how y'all are all "yay!" and "congratulations!" because truly? This feels equally as triumphant as a long-awaited double line on a pee stick. :)

Thank you for being a friend. Collectively, I mean. Youse guys are the best.

I'm so glad you are getting answers, and hope that the medication helps you :) Reading along has been fascinating.

Mixed-type bipolar? That sounds...awful. No wonder you've been having trouble coping, lady! I'm giving you a standing ovation for not only recognizing the problem, but doing something about it, AND sharing your story. It lets us all support you -- and each other.

I'm really hopeful that the meds give you some well-deserved relief. Sounds like you found a good psychiatrist--they are worth their weight in gold! If this med does not live up to its lovely name, keep soldiering on 'til you find the right cocktail. *fistpump

awww... you're welcome. Wow. as significant on the two lines on a stick, just wow... that's how much you needed the diagnosis, it's the condition, it's not YOU!! I have to go get myself 100% diagnosed for ADD too (not just my self-diagnosis) so I can get help and stop feeling like a bad person too. Just this week I read several posts in another academic woman's blog about her ADD and I almost cried several times. My condition is nothing really compared to yours, but it's been impairing my life for as long as I've live and I just thought -- and my mom even more -- that I was a horrible person. (it's heart breaking to read such thoughts in my old journals). So I hear you. I totally do.

Dude! I too take trileptal (along with a teeny dose of celexa)! For mood stabilization! AND I LIKE ALL CAPS! And I'm mixed bipolar maybe they don't know! It might be bipolar 2 or lite or whatever! Woot.



Hee hee Cecily. Nice.

Yes Bipolar II can have mixed eoedpsis. More often they are mixed eoedpsis of depression. The basic differences between II I is the severity of the disease, and the length of the cycles. Bipolar II's are known as rapid cycler's which can have cycles within a short period of time, even within the same day, they have more tendencies to be depressed rather than hypomanic. BPII's also don't have the true manic eoedpsis that last a week or longer. Rather it's termed hypomania. To meet criteria in DSM-IV it has to last at least 4 days. Where the mania has to last a minimum of a week. While BPI's do have more of the mixed eoedpsis that doesn't rule out BPII's. When people think of BP's they think of those who hide out in thier rooms for months at a time then come out and are all over the place, talking, spending money, etc. The BPII s are harder to diagnoses because the swings are so rapid and are mixed with periods of time when they function normally. They often don't seek treatment until they are hitting the more BPI like attributes, or extremes. And if they are not seen by a professional familiar with the disease, all the spectrums, and new break throughs in research, they are often misdiagnosed. (This was the case with both myself and my son) Bipolar is a progressive disease. Meaning untreated, it can start out as BPII and move into BPI which is the more aggressive part of the disease including the physchotic feature not associated with the BPII's. There are many spectrums of Bipolar. There is new research out monthly opening up more and more of the unique differences between them all. To sum it up, BPI and BPII are not the only Bipolars. However it is imperative if you are suffering and can recognize mixed eoedpsis you discuss it with your doctor as soon as possible. Often medications need to be tweaked or added. Remember the disease is progressive. Thankfully, as has been my own personal experience, my son's and those I work with as a support team and advocate, there are many new medications or combos, and other tools/treatments out today that are very effective and have less side effects than the old standby's most people use or know about.

Since I don’t personally know you or your mom, I don’t know if I can be a lot of help. But I have a few seniustgogs. If you have a friend who already knows how you feel or who you might be able to tell first, you might try talking to your friend and have your friend there when you talk to your mom. Another idea is to look for ideas online; you might find something that sounds right for you. My other suggestion is to write a letter. When I was 17 I was going through some things and I didn’t know how to tell my mom, so I wrote a poem. If writing would be right for you, then just start writing; maybe you could even show her this website and let her know that you feel like you could have Bipolar and that you would like to talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist to try and figure out for sure. Remember, Bipolar and every other mental illness is just that, an illness. Nobody can control it, some people need medication. I try to remind myself that just like people who have diabetes and need medicine, I have Bipolar and need medicine. Don’t ever forget that you are not alone, even celebrities like Demi Lovato have Bipolar. Remember to stay strong.

If you are worried about this, plaese talk to somebody. If you’re good at hiding your true feelings, there’s a chance that nobody knows how you feel, and it’s not good to keep those feelings bottled up. Whether you talk to your parents, another relative, a friend, or a school counselor, it’s good to talk to someone. It sounds to me like you want to talk to somebody, and I know it can be scary, but the fact that you’re reaching out to us shows that you are ready to reach out to those around you, whether you realize it or not. I know what it’s like to hurt people, and I wish I would have talked to somebody sooner. Even if you think you’re just hurting yourself, that it turn hurts those that care about you, that’s how I hurt my family and friends. Just because nobody in your family has anything like this, doesn’t mean that you don’t. Just like if somebody in your family did have something it wouldn’t mean that you would too. I know it can be harder if you’re family doesn’t understand, but I know that you can do it.

I don't know if I have bipolar. I've taekld to people on childline and on here and they say I need to get checked out ASAP. I taekld to my parents about depression at the start of January and they just shrugged it off as attention seeking. I'm really confused because I thought I might have had depression, but I get happy, but when I'm happy I get over the top. Like all my thoughts are scrambled up and I get a buzzing feeling inside of me that I can't control and I get basically not crazy but Hyper(?) And then I get really depressed and suicidle, I've never tried suicide but I think about it alot, nearly 3 or 4 times a week. I used to ermmm s/h And.. Well.. I just need an answer but I can't talk to my parents about it. I really need to go to the doctors cause my thoughts are just all over the place, I get exteremly scared over just a bloody thought, and it's ridiculous what my mind can make up half the time. I'm thinking about going with a friend, if that would work??? I just wish there was a way that I could get through this without my parents having to judge me and find out :/

jb,Bipolar Disorder affects evnroyee differently. I cannot write on demand unless I am writing journalism. I am sort of an idiot savant when it comes to writing novels and stories. I need to be supercharged with creativity and emotion before I sit down and write anything serious. I have come to accept this limitation, and right now I am focusing on getting back into shape through martial arts. I find that helps me focus and I have my center. When I lose my center I become a raving lunatic and have had to remove myself from Facebook on a number of occasions before I wreaked too much havoc. I feel for you, Brother. It is difficult to live with this curse, but it can be a blessing too if you can mange to focus your insanity into something creative.Best,James M. Weil

Catching up on your blog after finding the link on another site that was linked on another site, from another site. I followed you for a while, from TTC to when Sophia was born :) (I then quit my job and went back to school so I no longer had 7 hours a day to putz around on the internet). I sympathize with you on your diagnosis. Mixed episodes are hell on earth. I know this from experience. Getting diagnosed as such, and medicated, FINALLY, was a relief. It wasn't me being the way I was because I had no self control over my moods, there really was something not firing right in my head. I've enjoyed your writing. Thank you and I wish you the best!

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