Orientation

Day 2 of orientation -- not even classes! -- and all I can do is SHRIEK INSIDE MY HEAD because seriously? Seriously? Sitting in a room for basically seven hours and trying to learn stuff EVEN if it is stuff about how nice the rec center is and how I get free pap smears (I know, right? I'm gonna get one every week just on principle!) and how it is not okay to flash patients your thong-th-thong-thong-thong EVEN if it is just by accident and all that? 

It is making my brain into one of those too-hard poops, you know, a really tightly packed stool that pushes the boundaries of what poop particles are capable of and really makes you THINK (and you DO have time to think, since it takes like an hour and a half to pass the thing, I swear, nulliparas push out nine-pounders in less time than it's gonna take this thing to leave your asshole) where was I oh yeah REALLY MAKES YOU THINK about the origin of the phrase "shit a brick."

It's pressed too hard for its own good and stuff that should be separate is all immobilized and it doesn't corner too well, this turd that was my brain.

I'm sure everything is going to be fine though.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE.

See?

One unforeseen benefit of being out of the house from 7 to 5 is that I am no longer touched out at the end of the day. And I actually like rolling around on the floor with the kids, and tickling them and getting kicked in the gums by them and having them jab me in the solar plexus with their sharp sharp chins. No, really! I like it!

Maybe that is also the antidepressants, at their fullest flower.

Either way, who could complain about that?

Well. Nice talking with you. I have to go find things in the freezer and put them in the microwave and eat them now. Love you bye.

 

Comments

[Jill]

ikr??? is this what they call "life balance"?
It's like 'oh, so you think maybe too much with the east coast flooding? okay baby--take these western wildfires--that'll even things out." Except it almost works, a little. More often, 'pulled to pieces' was the metaphor that I reached for.
Well, as you say: EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE.
At least, as fine as everything ever can be.
You've got this.

[Tine]

May I please steal your new mantra? Because I found lice in Miss M's hair yesteday and really need to believe that EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE.

[Lilian]

YIKES!!!

but yeah, everything **is** going to be just fine!

[Sara]

It sounds like everything is going to be fine. So glad.

[kara]

this too shall pass. one of my co-workers presented me with a chart the other day of the types of stool. She is a WOCN and is supposed to use that to document each type of stool she sees. Types 1-7 for the interested. I will be happy to scan it to you so you can imagine exactly which version you plan to shit out at which moment.
So much of nursing school is mind numbing idiocy but it does get better. Eventually you will stop wanting to stab sharp objects into your eye and will be obsessively fascinated by what you have learned. To the point that when you go to the movies, you will look at actors forearms and determine which gauge needle you would need to put an IV in them and if you would actually need a tourniquet or not.
Patience young grasshopper. Your problem is that you have too much life experience and the thought of flashing your thong to patients is so utterly ridiculous that of course you would never do it but the young little ducklings that are in class with you are so clueless, they actually have to be told that. Trust me, I taught health assessment 101 to freshman nursing majors at Georgetown for a semester. The day we did breast exams, I had to have a come to jesus moment with them all to grow the fuck up. I was like you all have touched them at some point, get over it and be professionals!.

email me anytime to vent :) you will love it and rock it and the patients will adore you!

[Snozma]

Gosh, what antidepressants are those?

Sounds like good stuff.

And everything is going to be fine. Nay, more than fine. Free pap smears! What more could anyone ask???

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[Veronika]

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[Siphamandla]

Hi Jan,Well firstly, the rtienng of a chair is legal, it's all about, well, rtienng. I run all things through my registered business, Office Hair. The trick is to have an ABN and put everything through it, don't hide any extra cash! Every dollar that goes into that business account makes it more sucessful and you won't lose sleep over the tax man.Renting a chair is great as it gives you the flexibility to work the way you want, the hardest thing is finding the place you want to work in. Depending on your area, rent can be anything that is agreeable to both parties. Some work on a percentage basis depending on what you get for your money. Do you have to pay for your own colour? Do you get access to an apprentice if needed? Do you pay on a daily as I work or weekly basis? I think a reasonable rent for the day is $100+. It has to be worth while for the salon owner, and remember that you can make yourself fully booked and just work 2-3 days and still earn good money after all your overheads. Just remember to keep enough aside for tax and super, and to be able to grow your business. You will see lean times, but it's very rewarding working for yourself.

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